“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” ~ Bill Cosby, comedian

Long, long ago, I was a mom of one little boy. This little guy had been sick for days.There was no leaving the house — we didn’t dare wander too far from the bathroom.

Finally — 24 hours of all-is-well. So, I call Sara, my mom-friend, and suggest an outing to the mall. Not that I had any money to spend, but, hey! let’s just get out of the house for the morning.

Two moms. Two preschoolers buckled in car seats. Freedom. The mall — a mom’s mecca — in sight. And then … what’s that ominous noise I’m hearing in the back seat? I pull the car over to the side of the road. Exit the car, stage left. Open the back door to check on my toddler son … duck in the car …

And my son throws up in my face.

All over me.

Uh-huh.

In silence, I calm my crying son. Clean him off. Walk back to the driver’s seat and get back into the car. I can see the mall … so close and yet so far away. Sara asks, “Are you OK?”

“Give me a minute, ” I say, as I wipe throw up off my face, my coat. “I can’t think of anything funny about this right now. But give me a minute …”

And then we both start laughing. And laughing.

Because, really, what else can we do? Cry?

In Your Words: When have you survived a difficult or painful situation with a little bit of laughter?

“If we wait until our lives are free from sorrow or difficulty, then we wait forever. And miss the entire point.” ~Dirk Benedict, American actor

Life is not about avoiding things like sorrow and difficulty.

And yet, how often do we spend our days dodging the pain, sidestepping the challenges, declining the invitation to live out loud because it might hurt too much? Real life includes tears and laughter,  disappointment and contentment, missing the mark and dreams come true.

If avoidance isn’t the point, then what is? Discovering how to blink away tears and shoulder disappointments and keep your focus on the end-0f-the-rainbow-vision even when you’ve missed the mark a thousand times.

In Your Words: What helps you embrace life –the good and the bad of it?

photo by just4u/stockxchng.com

“It isn’t the great big pleasures that count the most; it’s making a great deal out of the little ones.” ~ Jean Webster, pseudonym for Alice Jane Chandler Webster, American author

My 11-year-old daughter often reminds me to enjoy simpler things like:

• snow angels
• snuggles on the couch
• spending time with family — because her favorite thing in the world is to hang out with her older siblings, (and that includes their spouses and boyfriend)
• game nights — because usually those include her older siblings
• walks to the park
• hugs

Sometimes I think “significant” memories have to be big and grand to be memorable, like the time we took the family to Mexico for a come-one-come-all vacation. A wonderful time, to be sure. But there are at-home, every day pleasures too — and I don’t want to miss those in my search for the “great big pleasures.”

In Your Words: What simple pleasure would you make a big deal out of?

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” ~Maya Angelou, poet & novelist

I’m certain we could debate the “proper” definition of success. But let’s not. I like Maya Angelou’s definition.

I remember the specific day when I realized that, yes, I liked myself. It was a hard-fought battle, I assure you, coming to terms with who I was and finally deciding to embrace the truth of me.

I also remember where I was the day I realized I was living my dream. I was sitting in a writer’s conference, listening to a speaker challenge all of us attendees to “Go! Dare to live your dreams!” My eyes filled with tears as I realized I was doing just that.

Liking how I do “it.” Hhhhhm. Yes, I would say most days I like how I write. Not all day long, necessarily. But most days. I don’t aim for perfection because I realized a long time ago Perfect is a ridiculous  goal.

In some ways, I will always want to be a better writer, a better woman, a better wife, a better mom, a better friend. But defining “success” without the confines of “Am I failing?” and “Am I achieving enough?” provides so much breathing space.  I can enjoy my successes … and aim for more success.

In Your Words: What parts of Maya Angelou’s definition of success have you achieved? What parts are you still aiming for? Or do you have a preferred definition of success?

“Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man’s growth without destroying his roots.” ~ Frank A. Clark, “The Country Parson,” journalist, editor & writer

It’s the beginning of a new week. Odds are, I”l run into some criticism as I journey from here to the weekend. As a novelist, there’s always a good chance I’ll get feedback on my work-in-progress (WIP) — either by request or just in passing.

But I don’t just interact with the imaginary people populating my manuscript. I also spend time with my family and friends, which means I will probably have opportunity to receive — and give — criticism in those relationships too.

I wonder … how will my words affect others this week? Will they be gentle, nourishing my children’s growth? Or will my words destroy a friend’s roots — their sense of worth? Will they walk away from me feeling more . . . or less?

In Your Words: What’s the verbal weather forecast for you this week? Will the words you speak encourage growth or wreak havoc in another person’s life?

“You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.” ~Dr. Seuss, American writer

I’ve opened my eyes and seen:

• Mr. Right walk into my life after I wasted too much time and emotion on Mr. oh-so Wrong.
• the never-to-be-forgotten faces of my newborns — all four of them.
• the ugly Truth … and discovered that yes, God’s grace is truly sufficient. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

In Your Words: What best thing have you seen when you opened your eyes?

“A simple life is not seeing how little we can get by with—that’s poverty—but how efficiently we can put first things first. . . . When you’re clear about your purpose and your priorities, you can painlessly discard whatever does not support these, whether it’s clutter in your cabinets or commitments on your calendar. ” ~Victoria Moran, American writer & speaker

I’m surprising myself with this blog post.

Forty-five minutes ago, I told my husband, “I’m not sure what I’m blogging about tomorrow.”

Five minutes later I looked at him and said, “Now I know. I’m going to let everyone know that I’m taking a break from blogging on Tuesdays and Thursdays.”

Really?

Yes, really.

It’s not like life in the blog-o-sphere will come to a screeching halt if I don’t post on Tuesdays and Thursdays for a few months (or never again, for that matter.)

But here’s what will happen: I will have a bit more time to focus on writing my second novel, which is due to my editor on May 1. And May 1 is not that far away, believe me. I have a little counter ticking the days down on my website because May 1 is also launch day for my first novel, Wish You Were Here.

So I am, as today’s quote so aptly puts it, putting first things first. Writing my manuscript takes precedence over writing Tuesday and Thursday posts.  Stay tuned on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for In Others’ Words — blogs about quotes. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy the conversations we’re sharing together. On occasion I may toss in a vlog or two and give you a little glimpse behind the scenes of Wish You Were Here, just for fun.

In Your Words: Have you had a “putting first things first” experience recently? I’d love to hear about it.

And here’s my open invitation to share a favorite quote with me at beth@bethvogt.com. If I use it in a future installment of In Others’ Words, I’d love to introduce you to the group — it doesn’t always have to be me starting the conversation!

“For some moments in life there are no words.”

~David Seltzer, American screenwriter

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Sometimes a breath is worth a thousand words.

Or one heartbeat … to … the … next.

One thousand words.

Not a single one of those thousand words need be uttered … but the width, breadth, height and depth of the emotion is there.

In Your Words: When was silence more eloquent than anything you could have said?

Me, in an overcrowded elevator at the 2010 American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) Conference. I’m standing nose to name tag with a petite blonde woman. Her nose. My name tag.

The conversation goes like this:

Woman: Oh, you’re Beth Vogt. You finaled in the Frasier.

Me (uncomfortable & now a bit surprised she could even read my name that close up): Yes, I did.

Woman (who I later found out was Sandra Bishop, an agent with the Chip MacGregor Literary Agency & one of the judges for the Frasier): So-and-So editor wants to talk with you. She read your entry and really liked it.

Me: Stunned silence.

Here’s what happened later: I sat at said-editor’s table for lunch. She recognized my name. Remembered my story. Told me how eager she was to read it.

This was a writer’s dream come true — all because I’d entered the Frasier contest.

Did the editor buy my manuscript?

Nope.

But guess what? My interaction with that one editor boosted my confidence so much, I walked into all my editor appointments relaxed . . . I mean, come on! I’d already been so encouraged.

And another editor did offer me a contract several months later!My novel, Wish You Were Here, debuts in May!

What’s the moral of my little Frasier story? Does entering the Frasier guarantee that you’ll final? No. Does it guarantee you a miraculous meeting with an agent or editor in an elevator? Sorry, no. Does it guarantee you publication. Not that either.

Here’s what you will get from entering this contest — guaranteed:

• Loads of encouragement from the My Book Therapy (MBT) writing community as you polish your contest entry.
• Help from MBT coaches via Monday night chats, Thursday night bleacher sessions, and MBT flashblogs so that you can submit the strongest entry possible.
• Some of the best judges’ evaluations, zeroing in on your ability to write a story that hooks a reader.
• Concrete, positive “this is what I liked” feedback.
• Detailed suggestions for improving your story.

My husband has a favorite saying: Do the next thing.

Why not make your next thing as a writer be entering the 2012 MBT Frasier contest? What have you got lose? Maybe a few hours sleep while you polish your scene and synopsis. OK, I get that.

But what have you got to win?

Consider that for a minute . . .

You could be standing in an elevator at the 2012 ACFW conference when someone says, “Hey, you’re . . .”

You don’t want to miss that moment, do you?

Writing contests — love ‘em or hate ‘em? Are you entering the Frasier? Have you entered the Frasier — or another writing contest — in the past? I’d love to hear your experience!

The 2012 Frasier Contest, My Book Therapy’s storycrafting contest for unpublished novelists, is open now through March 31. The winner will be announced at the annual MBT Pizza Party during the 2012 ACFW Conference in Dallas – and will receive a free MBT retreat (a $500 value!). Final round entries will be judged by award-winning author Susan May Warren, Tyndale House acquisitions editor Stephanie Broene, and Karen Ball, literary agent with the Steve Laube Agency. All guidelines and registration details are available here

“The secret to getting ahead is getting started.” ~Mark Twain, American author & humorist

And the rest of the quote goes: “The secret of getting started is breaking your complex overwhelming tasks into small manageable tasks, and then starting on the first one.”

Duh.

I tend to over-complicate things. Spend too much time staring at the big picture and letting it overwhelm me. Then the “I can’t” thoughts ramp and before too long, I’m accomplishing nothing.

Sometimes it’s the simplest truths that make the biggest difference in our lives, isn’t it? Rather than try to tackle the big picture — the whole thing, that never-gonna-get-it-all-finished everything — all I need to do is get started. Or, as my husband likes to say: Do the next thing.

Getting ahead is as brilliantly simple as that.

In Your Words: It’s Monday. Got a lot to do? Don’t worry about finishing — don’t think about Friday. What one thing do you need to do to get started?