There’s more to today’s quote than the admonition to grow angry slowly.
Hidden behind those three words is the caution: be slow to anger … because really, not only is there plenty of time to become angry, but given time, you often realize there is no real reason to get angry.
Why do you think we count to ten — or twenty — when our internal temperature is rising? To slow our anger down. 1 … 2 … 3 … 4 … 5 … 6 … 7… 8… 9 … 10.
And breathe. And are you feeling calmer? And is it — whatever it is, whoever it is — worth getting angry about?
Sometimes we have a reason — a right — to be angry. But maybe, just maybe, we go to anger too quickly. We’re fueled by an inflated sense of self — our rights, our injustices — and we don’t take the time to consider where we might be wrong — instead of how we were wronged.
If we take our time … if we grow angry slowly … consider where we are going with our emotions and why … the reality is, the reason to be angry will still be there when we finally decide “yes, I’m justified in my anger,” right? And if we decide that there’s no reason to be angry, well then we haven’t rushed ahead into a confrontation that we’ll regret.
In Your Words: What helps you grow angry slowly?
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Comments 4
For me, the operative question is “Will my anger change the situation to one that I would prefer?”
The answer is always No. There are things in my life about which I’m angry, but however strongly I give free rein to those feelings, I can’t alter what Is, and what I assume Will Be. All I can do is reduce my own quality of life, by holding onto an emotion which is admittedly mine by right…but I’m a poor man indeed if I feel that emotional garbage is a prized possession.
Anger can be a spur to action; I once saw someone abusing a dog, and dealt with him harshly. But I switched off the anger first; a salutary lesson, such as the one learned y this individual, is more long-lasting when delivered with cold professionalism.
Author
Lots of wisdom in your comment, Andrew.
“Will my anger change the situation to one that I would prefer?”
“I’m a poor man indeed if I feel that emotional garbage is a prized possession.”
Thank you for all you add to our conversations.
Nothing should be done in anger. Even when we see a wrong, we need to cool off before addressing it. I’ve learned that the hard way. Uncontrolled anger is a sign of immaturity. I was quite old when I learned that.
Author
Agreed, Pat. Agreed. I used to think my anger somehow upped my position, increased my authority.
I was so, so wrong. It decreased my position, invalidated my ability to state what I wanted to say.