My daughter CJ has been part of her high school Varsity volleyball team for the past few months. This weekend, my husband and I will be in Denver cheering them on as they compete for the 3A State title.
Here’s one thing I’ve learned about the team: Each member knows their place on the team — what their job is, so to speak, as an offensive or defensive player. Cassie D., the setter, doesn’t switch places with Cassie N., a middle blocker. And Julia, the libero, doesn’t try to be Bailey, an outside hitter. Because each girl knows who they are and what they’re supposed to do, the team can rely on one another and trust one another.
Like my daughter, each of us has our own worlds that we live in: families, careers, ministries, friendships, sports. And the better we know who we are, the better our relationships with the people we interact with in those various worlds. If I’m uncertain about myself, this will undermine my relationships with others.
It isn’t about letting others ask, much less answer, the question, “Who are you?” Although, to be honest, I’ve allowed others to do this in the past. Only once I wrestled both the question and the answer away from others and started seeking my own answers — and allowed God to tell me who I was and Whose I was — did I come to a stable and life-giving knowledge of myself.
In Your Words: How has understanding yourself improved your relationships with others?
[ctt template=”8″ link=”00O1M” via=”yes” ]You, Yourself, and the World http://ctt.ec/00O1M+ #InOthersWords #quotes #selfconfidence @bethvogt[/ctt] [ctt template=”8″ link=”CHR06″ via=”yes” ]”The better you know yourself, the better your relationship with the rest of the world.” http://ctt.ec/CHR06+ #quotes @bethvogt[/ctt]
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Comments 8
Good post, Beth. Not sure I know how to answer that question as I am constantly discovering new things about myself. 🙂 Of course, I know Whose I am, but even there, I’m continually learning more about myself. One thing I have learned is to play it forward.
And I’ll be rooting for CJ’s team! And I just realized where I got my latest heroine CJ’s name!
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Pat: I do think you know who you are, even as you discover new things about yourself. The two are exclusive. This is why you are able to live your dream out loud and influence others so beautifully.
Great post, Beth. SUCH wise words. As you know, it’s taken me a lifetime to realize the importance of understanding who God created me to be. As I’ve come to understand myself better, I am more comfortable, and thus confident in what I think and believe. This enables me to be more honest in my relationships with others.
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Jeanne: I think choosing wisely which relationships we want to participate in and which ones we need to decline is vitally important to knowing who we are. Some relationships perpetuate the lies we believe about ourselves, blocking out God’s truth about us.
Great post, Beth! Go, CJ!
I realized a while ago that my life is not about me and my ‘rights’; it’s about my debt of service, and my responsibilities.
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Andrew: But your life is about you, in the sense that your relationship with others influences them. I know this is true because your friendship has influenced me in untold ways. I’m thankful to know you.
And Happy Birthday, by the way!
Good point, Beth. The way I see it, ‘I’ would ideally shrink down to a fixed point of service and duty, with no needs that would feed a distinct ‘me’ other than food, water, and rest.
Not really possible (I’m not the cyborg I wish I were), so I have to be sure that the things that define a specific personal identity are subservient and supportive of a life of service. There’s no room for ego; each activity has to be carefully chosen for its ‘value added’ for what I can contribute.