“Love is friendship set to music.” ~E. Joseph Cossmann, author & entrepreneur
I’ve often heard it said that you should marry your best friend.
That’s not how it happened for me.
Yes, I loved my husband Rob when we married … but we became best friends as the weeks, months and years passed. We’ve done life together through thick and through thin and Rob knows me better than anyone else in the entire world.
Best friends? Absolutely. We love each and we like each other.
In the book Lists to Live By, compiled by Alice Gray, Steve Stephens and John Van Diest (Multnomah 1999), there’s a list titled “How to Build a Friendship with Someone You’re Dating”:
- Keep physical contact to a minimum. (Got that. You can get sidetracked pretty quickly with the physical stuff — even the constant need to resist temptation. And let’s admit it: There’s always’ temptation.)
- Explore new interests and hobbies.
- Do activities that are fun. (As opposed to being bored together…)
- Be yourself — don’t put on an act just to get the other person to like you. (Easier said then done. There’s always a bit of posturing.)
- Ask open-ended questions. (In other words, don’t just talk about yourself.)
- Listen to the other person’s heart, not just to the words.
- Talk with a godly older couple and discover how they built their friendship.
- Read a good book together, and discuss how its content can help you foster your relationship. (Suggestion: The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.)
- Seek to understand the other person’s viewpoint.
Here’s why I like the list: It made me stop and realize relationships — friendships or falling-in-love relationships — don’t just happen. They take time. And effort. And intention.
In Your Words: What do you think of the “Marry your best friend” maxim? And would you add anything to the list to help someone build a friendship with someone they’re dating?
Don’t forget: Go here to take part my Beach Bag Giveaway! Leave a comment sharing a Best, Worst and/or Funniest Romantic Moment Contest for a chance to win:
- a beach bag with a beach towel,
- a copy of Wish You Were Here (which USAToday.comcalled a “ fun novel (which) has “beach read” written all over it.”)
- a $50 Visa gift card (for you to enjoy a romantic dinner at your favorite restaurant with your sweetheart.)
Contest ends June 16th!