Have you ever been treated like someone’s personal fly paper?
Not sure what I’m talking about? I can explain.
Last week, my daughter, Christa, who is back at college, texted and said one of her friends wanted to “chat.”
Anybody else see an instant red flag when a friend says, “Can we chat?” but gives no hint as to what the topic might be?
Later, Christa texted to say the less than 30-minute conversation went well.
And then she added: She said some things she didn’t really have a place to say, but I’m not gonna’ let it stick to me. I’m just moving on.
Me: About you?
Christa: Yeah.
As we’re texting, I’m praying. Trying to restrain my Mama Bear. Let my adult daughter handle her relationship stuff.
Then I text Christa this: Don’t be anyone’s personal fly paper. Don’t let their junky stuff stick to you.
Christa: I like that.
Me: It just came to me.
Christa: blog post quality content
So now I’m sharing this truth with you: We don’t have to be anybody’s personal fly paper. Ever.
I saw fly paper once, hanging up on a relative’s back porch: a long strip of yellow paper with these dead flies all over it.
Effective, yes. But nasty.
Fly Paper 101: Fly paper is effective because flies have a strong sense of smell and the paper is coated with an attractant that is also sticky. The more flies struggle to get loose, the more they stick to the fly paper. Most fly papers on the market now are non-toxic, but in the past, they were coated with something poisonous to kill the flies more quickly.
We’re all in various relationships with other people. Family members. Friends. Romantic interests. Colleagues.
If we’re not careful, we allow someone’s offhand or intentional comments to cling to us. The negativity lingers … and our sense of worth dies a slow death.
There have been times when my day is going well … and then my mood changes. My outlook darkens. At first, I’m not even sure why. I mentally retrace my steps through the day, reviewing conversations. I realize something someone said to me – or about me – has replayed in my head for hours.
Sometimes it’s an internal monologue I’ve allowed to go on unchecked – my own negativity filled with recriminations and doubts.
Accusations of any kind – from others or from ourselves – poisons our souls.
For our mental health, it’s vital to remember we are no one’s personal fly paper. We are so much more valuable than to allow someone’s careless, incorrect opinion to toss us aside. We have to avoid their junk – their judgements, their bad attitudes – and refuse to let them stick.
Choosing to Ignore Others' Negativity About You https://bit.ly/2R4AURH #opinions #perspective Share on X 'Don't let someone else's opinion of you become your reality.' Quote by @LesBrown77 https://bit.ly/2R4AURH #opinion #selfconfidence Share on X
Comments 8
The nasty things you say to me
some of which, perhaps, are true,
still hold more negativity
that resides in you.
You tell me of my many flaws
and make them ever-clearer,
but it’s a foolish cat who bares its claws
when looking in a mirror.
I shall therefore let it go;
not bowing to your inward rage,
and, my friend, just so you know,
I’ll turn this sad-toned page,
for while I might say “Go to hell!”,
Jesus died for you as well.
Author
Good morning, Andrew: I knew you’d write the perfect sonnet for today’s post, my friend, and you did not disappoint. And yes, often negativity is a reflection of what’s residing in the other person.
I learned long ago to let negative thoughts bounce off me. I’ve often told people if you want to insult me, you’re gonna have to sit me down and tell me that you’re insulting me. 🙂
Author
Love your attitude, Pat. Always have.
So true. Those comments can have you doubting your self-worth if you’re not careful.
Author
Denise: Agreed. And we must be careful how much weight we give to others comments and yes, criticisms. Sometimes they are more a reflection of them than of us.
Oh, how I love this! I’ve been the one who’s allowed others’ words to stick to me, to burrow in and impact me negatively. But that word picture and the reminder that we don’t have to allow others’ opinions of us to stick is so pertinent and essential for a healthy well-being.
Author
Hi Jeanne: I’m thankful this blog post (written last week), encouraged you today. I accidentally ingested gluten over the weekend — that’s a big no for me — and I’m recovering. I’ll be blogging again next week!