@bethvogt
I was still in elementary school when I learned that tragedy – sorrow, grief – doesn’t take time off for the holidays.
All the houses in our neighborhood were decorated with lights, festive wreaths on the front doors, a few lawns decorated with statues of snowmen or reindeer or candles.
All the houses, save one.
One of the children in that home had died recently – sometime in the days leading up to Thanksgiving and Christmas. The house was dark and silent for days.
And it stayed that way, all the way into the new year.
Fast forward to today. Heartbreaking life events continue to upend people’s “all is calm” normalcy. In recent weeks:
- Two friends – one longtime friend, one new friend – have been diagnosed with breast cancer.
- Several friends-of-friends are reeling from the shock of losing children.
- Two wives that I’ve heard of unexpectedly lost their husbands, and now are faced with the task of raising young children alone.
- So many friends face the complicated daily struggles of aging parents, while I do the same.
And all of these events are a mere glimpse into what people around the world are facing, day in and day out, as we move toward the holidays and the new year.
In the midst of all this, the closer we come to Thanksgiving, again and again we hear the words “gratitude” and “thankful.” Good words. Needed words.
But it’s so challenging to hold onto these words, much less live them out, when the undertow of grief pulls us down.
At times like these, it’s good to remember that the temporary interruption of the holiday season is not a pause button for real life. And yet …
And yet, the very things the holiday season highlights are what is most needed when we are weighed down by sorrow.
Hope.
Peace.
Love.
Gratitude.
For some, this will be the first holiday season without a loved one. Bestselling author Ann Voskamp suggests that yes, we can even be grateful in our grief.
What are you grateful for about the person?
Such a beautiful question – and a way to begin to weave gratitude into our grief.
But if we’re not ready, then don’t force or fake thankfulness. We all have our own journeys through grief and we can’t demand how someone else processes loss.
The world we live in can often drown out grief with piped in music and forced frivolity. May we be present for one another in the coming days, leaving room for our realities, be they joy-filled or grief-filled.
Honesty and Hope for the Holidays http://bit.ly/2qvxsph #grief #relationships Share on X 'Grief, no matter where it comes from, can only be resolved by connecting with other people.' Quote by Thomas Horn http://bit.ly/2qvxsph #sorrow #comfort Share on X
E-book Sale!
My publisher, Tyndale House, is having an ebook sale this month! Check out some of the great books on sale, including Moments We Forget, for only $1.99!
🍁 📚 #ebooksale Don’t miss the deals from @TyndaleHouse from author @amysorrells @bethvogt @CarlaLaureano @CourtneyWalsh @HeidiChiavaroli https://buff.ly/2Wyho1o #booklovers #Crazy4Fiction Share on X
Comments 8
Every day I do make merry,
but at the risk of being crass
and, oh yes, quite contrary,
shove the holidays up your burro.
I loathe the forced frivolity
for the cost that it extracts
from those who’ve just faced tragedy
and are told to ‘face the facts’.
Friends and neighbours are not owed
a glued-on cheerful face;
folks need a hug when heads are bowed,
and a warm strong cup of grace.
Western Christmas is just a trope;
compassion measures how we cope.
Author
Good morning, Andrew: I know you’re not one for “forced frivolity.” You live stark reality every hour of every day, and yet you are a man of compassion, albeit not a man who suffers fools lightly.
And yes, your humor helps you bear your burdens, as so does your faith.
Praying for you, friend.
Andrew, this is perfect.
And thank you for the non-rhyming line.
Started my day with a chuckle; a wry kindness on its own.
Having just returned from Israel where they had welcome but unusually warm sunny weather, it’s hard for me to compute it’s almost Thanksgiving BUT your post is so true. I plan to write a post about how important knowing the words for “thank you” in Hebrew AND Arabic were on this trip–AND in life. It unlocked cooperation and smiles beyond anything I expected AND certainly reminds us of riches after loved ones have passed beyond our immediate sight.
Author
Welcome home, dearest Dee! Your perspective is on the value of the words “thank you” is so enlightening.
“The world we live in can often drown out grief with piped in music and forced frivolity. May we be present for one another in the coming days, leaving room for our realities, be they joy-filled or grief-filled.”
Amen. Amen.
The phrase that grabbed me: “May we be present…”
That was and always will be the gift, yes? His presence. “And surely I am with you always…” (from Matt 28:20, NIV) The ESV renders it “behold.” I like both. One an assurance of the promise, the other a beckoning to actively see the promise – to be held by it.
A bit of a rabbit trail from your post, but I desperately need this promise to grace my humbug.
To behold His presence, to be held by it, and to offer the same by being present to others.
Your words and the Holy Spirit rabbit trail, both needful today.
Thank you, Beth.
Author
Bernadette: You were in my thoughts as I wrote this post.
And I deliberately chose the word “present” — a bit of a double-entendre there.
I loved how you focused on it, too, and the truth you shared.
❤️