Getting past fear?
It’s an amazing feeling.
Pushing past the “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t” — stuffing a sock in all that mental mouthing-off — helps me see myself in a whole new, glorious way.
Yes, glorious.
Suddenly I’m not living under the crushing threat of impossible. Instead, I’m inhaling and exhaling all of the possibles.
So what was I afraid I couldn’t do — and then I discovered I could do? Oh, so many things. But I’ll only share one today:
Back when I was all of 20 years old, I found an engagement ring hidden in a handblown Christmas ornament on my Christmas tree. With that ring came a marriage proposal, which I accepted.
But here’s the thing: Even as I said yes, I thought: This isn’t going to work.
Isn’t it funny — in a so unfunny way — how you can be saying yes and thinking no-no-no at the same time?
The engagement lasted five months — and so did my doubts. And finally I spoke up. I didn’t do it perfectly. To be honest, my declaration of independence was a mess. But my message was clear enough to end the relationship — and to ensure that friends told me I was crazy to let such a perfect guy go. (Yeah, well, they were entitled to their opinions. I was the one who had dated the guy.)
What did I discover?
That I could speak up. For myself. For truth. That I didn’t have to pretend everything was okay when it wasn’t.
That was the first time I embraced honesty and valued myself over what others might think about me — but it wasn’t the last.
In Your Words: When did you surprise yourself and discover you could do something you didn’t think you could do? I’d love for you to join the conversation and share your experience!
How have you surprised yourself by conquering a fear? Click to Tweet
A Proposal. A Breakup. And a Discovery. Click to Tweet!
Surprise! You Can Do It! Click to Tweet
Comments 15
That took immense courage, especially at 20, Beth! For me it was starting my blog a little over 3 years ago. It was the first step for me in walking this writing path in a real way before friends and family AND God. In fact, my first post was on stepping past fear. And every step has been fueled by His strength:) Loved this post today! Great encouragement and reminder.
Oh that first “I’m a real writer” step — it feels as if you’re plunging off a cliff, doesn’t it? Good for you, Susan!
Have to agree with Susan–that had to have taken such courage to stand up and, like you said, declare your independence. 🙂
I’ve always sort of leaned toward confidence–I credit my family completely for that. They’ve always built me up and made me believe I could do just about anything. However, funnily enough, the one thing I always tend to think I can’t do is be far from them. I remember starting college and thinking, “I’m not a baby, I’m not a baby, I’m not a baby…but I want my mommy and daddy!!!!” 🙂 And then studying abroad in London…realizing my family was so far away, it was seriously so hard at first. But I made it…and both college and London ended up being two of the most amazing, impacting and FUN experiences of my life. So yeah, that tends to be my main “I can’t,” but God has shown me a few different times that I can.
I have to admit that whenever I hear of your year in London, I am a wee bit envious. I abandoned the idea of a trip to Europe for this same fiancé — silly, silly me. Oh, well, I’ve traveled since then — and I’ll be doing more!
Thank you, Beth, for sharing this today! Your decision took such great courage. But aren’t you glad you made the right choice?!
Something that I wondered if I could do…jumping back into the writing game after being away for so long.
You can do it, Cynthia. You absolutely can.
Beth, what a victory for you. I’m so glad you listened to the things going on inside and made a brave choice. Sometimes being honest with ourselves is difficult.
For me, I surprised myself when I actually began writing a book, and found out I had words that could create a story. I wasn’t quite sure I could do it, even after attending some great retreats. I love the surprises that come when I sit down to write a scene.
🙂 What a delightful discovery, Jeanne. And how fun it has been to be on this journey with you.
Thanks for your example, Beth. I love hearing how others have overcome.
It was scary for me to put myself out there when I started writing. Not just sending my work out, but even forming friendships online. For the first several months, I lurked on blogs and would comment occasionally…and then wonder if everyone was thinking, “Who is this girl and what does she think she’s doing here?!!” Thankfully, I got past that fear and kept going…and discovered a world of friendships I am sooooo incredibly grateful for…yours included. 🙂
One of my moments was the first writer’s conference I attended. It had nothing to do with acutally attending, but everything to do with doing it alone. Flying alone. Finding my way alone–but then I wasn’t really. I was with God and that was a valuable lesson. One I cherish and always will.
First when I ran a mile, next when I ran my first 5K and finished!!
Wow. I don’t know of any 20-year-old who had that degree of self-possession! Certainly I did not.
There were time when I did more than I thought I could – but the discovery was always in retrospect. I can’t think of ever had the immediate feeling of discovery. At the time, it was always just something that had to ben done.
I wonder if time and distance lend not only perspective but illumination – that from a distance, in the light of dawn, we can see that the path we walked on that dark night was really a tightrope across an abyss.
In 2006, I had moved from VA to TX to be with a guy I thought I loved and who I thought loved me. After living with him for a couple months, I realized he was not the right guy for me. After a heartfelt talk with God, I left him. I was by myself, no close family (my daughter lived 3 hours away from me)but I trusted God and was able to find a good job and a place of my own.
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Teresa: That took amazing courage!
Love this post and your discovery. Your voice of truth matter.s