There are certain things I wish I’d learned sooner in life.
This is one of them: “What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.”
Circumstances, both bad and good, come and go.
But how I respond in a given situation? That can have a lasting effect on me and on others that lingers for years to come.
My friend and trusted counselor Wise Guy taught me to evaluate the hard times in my life with this question: Is this a defining moment in my life or just a moment in my life? I’ve learned to be careful, very careful, about what moments in my life I allow to define me.
If I overreact to something someone says or does — or even to something I said or did — I’m giving that moment in my life too much power. That time, those circumstances, begin to control my thoughts and my emotions.
What happens in my life is important, yes. But how I respond to the events in my life, both the good times and the disappointments, the frustrations, and the times when I am satisfied, are the more important concern. My reactions reveal my heart. It’s not about perfection. It’s about choosing to be true to myself in my words and my actions.
In Your Words: Which is more important — what happens to you or how your react to what happens to you? Why or why not? How do you ensure that your words and actions reflect your true self?
In Others' Words: Life Happens http://bit.ly/2x5naMC #quotes #perspective Share on X 'What happens is not as important as how you react to what happens.' Quote by Ellen Glasgow http://bit.ly/2x5naMC #circumstances #react Share on X
Comments 9
Every moment is defining, for it may be your last.
In ‘Hagakure’, Yamamoto Tsunetomo writes that the Way of the Samurai is found in death, and that dying without reaching one’s aims brings no dishonour; it is HOW we face that final moment that defines every preceding moment of our lives.
It is so very true that we cannot control circumstance. We can, however, discipline ourselves through steady practice of honourable reactions to the mundane, building strength and resilience for that last moment that will be our legacy – whether it is witnessed, or we die alone.
Thus, everything we do is important, is preparation for the trial we will ultimately face. I therefore entreat the reader of these words to take the same care with buttering a slice of toast as a surgeon might take with a scalpel; to weigh words before speaking to a child as a President might prepare a speech to a world on the brink of war.
These small actions are the bricks that make up the mighty edifice of our character, and if the foundations are strong and the bricks do not crumble in the rain, the structure will stand fast in the storm that will surely come.
Author
Andrew: I agree with you that what we consider as small actions can carry just as much weight — if not more — as large actions. And that we must choose what we say and do wisely. And again, I wish I’d learned this earlier.
Well-spoken, Andrew.
Timely.
Thank you.
I still really love this photo of you on your website. And you cover this topic so well, there is little to add. I strongly agree that our responses are more important than the events and it is there that we become greater or crumble. Strong’s Theological Dictionary had an intriguing paragraph that had a fresh way of saying that tests reveal what we’re made of, that the same sun shining on wax softens and melts it but shines and heats clay to make it unresponsive brick. I was also rdg. Zech. 13:8-9 this morn. that described His land being attacked and 2/3s perishing but 1/3 being brought tested and emerging as refined gold and silver and calling on His name, being heard, and declaring Him — profound stuff available in daily life.
Author
Dee: Your words remind me that, as a woman of faith, I am not alone in any of my circumstances. That truth allows me to stand firm(er) in the face of any trial. Any discouragement. Any loss.
Thank you, Beth. This has been the impetus of the past year and a half of my life. Learning to stand in faith and truth no matter how the wind blows my emotions. Discerning what is in my control and what is not. Gaining ground in not being defined by the fickleness of life on earth; gaining strength from the One who holds that life.
I am being challenged anew by recent circumstances, digging in with tools new and old, and finding clearer perceptions throughout. And, yes, it is a blessing to have supportive counselors along the way. A few trusted “wise guys” who can see the forest for the trees when I cannot.
Author
Bernadette,
Trusted counselors are invaluable. And standing in the truth is so important, which is one reason why I’m sharing my anchor verses — truths that have held me steady during tough seasons.
A major change at our Bible study erupted this morning. The responsible person spent much time describing their reasoning. Her leadership position gave her the right. Our responses to this chaotic moment were held in silence. I pray my heart, that wanted to judge will wait patiently for God’s wise words to calm, heal, and reconcile.
Your words flew right to the core of where I am. May my perspective be appropriate in the months, years to come.
Thank you, Beth for your timely reflection!
Author
Sharon:
I am so sorry that your Bible study experienced chaos and disruption this morning. I respect your desire to be part of healing and reconciliation — a reflection of God in this situation. Praying for you.