For a long time, I thought 50-50 relationships were the way to go.
I do my part to meet the other person halfway and the other person does their part. Equal investments into a relationship should make it work, right?
Not necessarily.
And then I believed the 100% “go all in” attitude about relationships. It’s not 50-50. It’s 100% plus 100% that makes relationships work.
Again, not necessarily.
My 100% isn’t always someone else’s 100%. And I may slack off when someone else may keep investing. There is one thing I do know: one person can’t keep a relationship alive all on their own.
For today, let’s go with meeting someone halfway. It’s true that your next step is vital. Do you step forward and commit more? Or do you step backward and ease away from the relationship?
Sometimes, if a relationship isn’t working, it’s about giving more. Sacrificing. Going all in.
But sometimes it’s about stepping back and reevaluating. Recognizing that the relationship isn’t working for a reason — and that no matter what you do, you can’t fix it. So you step back. Establish a healthy boundary. Or you seek wise counsel to help develop a better relationship.
The choice, as they say, is yours.
In Your Words: How do you decide your next step after meeting someone halfway?
[ctt template=”8″ link=”UP0cD” via=”yes” ]In Others\’ Words: What to Do After Going Halfway http://wp.me/p63waO-2qV #quotes #relationships [/ctt] [ctt template=”8″ link=”40fc6″ via=”yes” ]\”The most important step is the one you take after meeting someone halfway.\” http://wp.me/p63waO-2qV #quotes #RobertBrault[/ctt]
Comments 10
Oh, that’s a GREAT question for a dude who spent a lot of years doing judo!
But it all boils down to this: throw him, and pin him.
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Andrew: Your comment took me back to my days in martial arts. You do know that my husband and I met in a karate studio right? When he knocked me down … we like to say he swept me off my feet. 🙂
I think praying for wisdom and discernment about what to do is a great next step.
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Ellie: Yes. Absolutely.”We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9 NLT.
Recently, I had a disagreement with a friend. She and I could not agree to disagree. No matter how much I tried to save the friendship, she wasn’t open to trying. So, I had to take a step back and truly look at the relationship. I know we will never be close friends again, but I continue to pray for her and love her.
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Melissa: You make a good point that sometimes our next step is determined by the other person’s steps. If they won’t budge or if they step away, well that directs our steps.
In my experience, we seldom lose by extending ourselves more than halfway to bridge a retionship, and regarding the few times it still fails, at least we’ll have no regrets. A pastor once told me I was a bridge in many situations and wouldl feel the weight of boots marching over me, but in the process would be used to join people and important things. I’ve seen that happen and am more than okay with that.
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Dee: You are a wise woman. And I would say you are a bridge not only between many situations but between nations.
“Oh the places you’ll go … oh the people you’ll meet …”
This is timely wisdom for me, Beth. I appreciate the words “healthy boundary.” I stepped back from a friend when I realized nothing I did seemed to be enough. I felt judged and unaccepted. So I quietly backed away and continued to pray blessings over her life. Recently, she inched closer; so I will move closer with my healthy boundary in place. Sometimes we need a breather to help us remember why we became friends in the first place–and then we can return to that sweet place of grace.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
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Wendy: I so appreciate your sharing today. I loved what you said: “Sometimes we need a breather to help us remember why we became friends in the first place–and then we can return to that sweet place of grace.” Yes, relationships need to be threaded through and through with grace — for others and for ourselves. Sometimes we feel guilty when we step away from a relationship. But I’ve learned that there are times it is the wisest — and kindest — choice. For us and/or for them.