Guest Post by Christa Vogt
Last weekend, my husband and I visited his 100-year-old mother. Our youngest daughter, Christa, came along to visit her “Mimaw,” since she leaves for college this week. When we arrived at the skilled nursing facility where Rob’s mom has been staying for the past two months (too long of a story for this blog post), Christa asked for a few minutes alone with her Mimaw. The rest of this blog post? I’ve turned it over to Christa so she could share about their conversation.
This week is a huge week for me. I’m going to college in Minnesota, where I’ll be playing volleyball for Bethel University. I leave early Thursday morning and it’s crazy to say I don’t know when I’ll be back.
Last Sunday, I had to say another goodbye. This time it was with my 100-year-old Mimaw. I know my parents were surprised when I asked for a couple minutes alone with Mimaw, but I wanted this moment to be special.
Mimaw and I talked for a few minutes about the basic things. Yes, I’d started packing. Yes, I already know some of my volleyball teammates. Yes, I’m very excited.
Once we discussed these things, I was able to ask her the more important question for me – if she had any advice she could give me. I honestly thought she’d take a moment to think about it. But she instantly perked up and told me two things:
- Be yourself. Her first answer was short and sweet.
- Ask for help. Here Mimaw elaborated more. “I do not tend to ask for help, and I could’ve gotten a lot farther in some things if I had just asked,” she said. “You have a good family support system. Call them, even about things you think are stupid, and ask for help. They’ll be there to help you.”
The first recommendation to “Be yourself” is one I’ve heard many times. But hearing it from a woman who has seen a century’s worth of people being or not being themselves meant so much more to me. She sees the value in me being me.
Mimaw’s second answer surprised me. My grandmother is what my family likes to call “Montana Strong.” She was born in 1918 in a one-room log cabin built by her father and, at the peak of her career, she was a lobbyist for National Farmers Union on Capitol Hill. She was correct when she said she doesn’t ask for help; this woman denied having congestive heart failure, ok?
But if my grandmother, who will celebrate her 101st birthday on October 31, wishes she had asked for help, I think we all should listen. She has every right to claim “I’ve done so many things by myself,” but instead, she wishes she had reached out more.
Going into college volleyball is scary. But I have a feeling, the more I ask for help, the more quickly I’ll learn and grow. Maybe I’ll ask an older teammate for help. Or my coaches – although yes, they intimidate me right now. Or I could even ask my fellow freshmen. Sometimes asking for help comes with a good ol’ dose of humility.
But I also know that if I need to, I can call home and there will be nine people ready and willing to offer whatever help they can from 989 miles away.
Disclaimer: Not everyone has a supportive, close-knit family like mine. Help won’t always come from family. It can come from a friend, a peer, or even an authority figure in your life. But help can’t be offered if you don’t ask.
So reach out if you’re struggling. You’re being yourself when you do. Grandmotherly Advice as You Start College - a Conversation with My Daughter and Her MiMaw http://bit.ly/301VsNp #perspective #encouragement #college Click To Tweet 'To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.' Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson http://bit.ly/301VsNp #beyourself #quote Click To Tweet
Comments 27
Great post, Christa!
“Be yourself’s” a shibboleth,
hoary but so very true,
but from birth, yea, unto death,
who else can be you?
We all have our clay-foot heroes,
looking strong, but dodgy legs;
do we dare abandon (you serious?)
their power when we’re fragile eggs?
Another’s life is not for thee,
God made you for His own,
and His grace-filled chemistry
should never be undone.
Be that person God hath made
to teach, to sing, to wield a spade.
Author
I will share your response with Christa, Andrew. I know she will try to stop by some today as she finishes packing for college. 🙂
I sure hope she likes them, Beth!
And this…
You surely were not meant to do it
all alone, bereft of aid,
but without help all is ruined;
go on and ask, don’t be afraid!
Did Jesus need all twelve apostles?
He is God, so one would do,
to walk with Him and write the Gospels,
to be His friend and see Him through.
The others were not window-dressing,
for the work was made for human hands.
Its execution was a blessing
for the worker and he who understands.
You can change a life with one request
whose fulfillment is a triumph’d test.
Andrew: I am blessed, encouraged, and (sometimes) gently rebuked by your poems and writing. Thank you for guiding me forward on the narrow path from afar! God bless you and keep you, brother in Christ.
Odelia, I don’t know what to say, except for a very heartfelt “Thank you!”
Andrew! That was so beautiful and well spoken. Thank you for the encouragement.
I’m so glad you liked them, Christa. I wish you every happiness and success in the coming year, and beyond.
I absolutely love this post. It needs to be nationally syndicated somewhere, and please do tell the rest of the story of Mimaw’s recent two months soon. This is solid, stellar, so valuable content. Christa will have lasting impact wherever she goes, carrying on the strength your family has nurtured into her, and the Lord will carry you too during this transition time which will understandably have some upheaving in it but also deep forever-lasting undercurrents of His grace.
Author
Thank you, Dee, for cheering Christa on with your encouraging words. And I know your prayers strengthen her, too — and us as we make this transition.
Aunt Dee! Thank you so much for the encouragement and support.
Thank you for your post, Christa!
I needed to hear those words as a university junior.
I find that I have a hard time humbling myself to ask for help. “Be Yourself” is a lot easier for me to do than reaching to others and admitting that “myself” is not a perfect person. God bless you as you enter a new chapter of your life! College would be full of challenges and difficulties, but God is with you through it all. Trust in Him, and remember, Live For Eternity!
Odelia
Author
Odelia: I’m certain you’re heading back to school soon, too. Know that you’re in our prayers.
Odelia, thank you for the wisdom you have passed on to me! Having the support of other believers is good for my soul.
What a beautiful post and I love that you are wise enough at 18 to have asked Mimaw for her advice.
You will have an awesome freshman year. I can’t wait to hear your stories & see how God uses you.
Thanks, sis. I’m sad to leave you all, but I’ll send annoying texts every day about how many chicken nuggets I ate that day. Thank you for being a constant role model for me.
Dearest Christa
How blessed you are. I never knew my grandparents. Someday I will meet them in Heaven. Yet I know their legacy through many a shared story.
For you to spend that special time gleaning wisdom is a jewel from the hand of God!
As you walk through your future know that you have prayer warriors behind you. Walk forward dancing in God’s grace .
Margo, thank you. I’m sorry that you never knew your grandparents, but it is always comforting to hold onto kingdom perspective.
I have gotten the most one-on-one time with Mimaw out of any of my siblings and it truly has been a blessing for me.
Thank you again. I’m grateful for your prayers.
Exquisite. Tears.
Author
Gloria: Me, too.
Thank you, Gloria. I was glad for the chance to share.
Thanks for a great post. Christa, you have learned well. Special that you asked your grandmother for advice. Lots of children just want to forge ahead on their own. It’s great that you recognize you still have a support system even though you are miles away.
Blessings as you go to college and pursue volleyball! Have a great time!
Beth, your mother-in-Law does not look 100! She looks great. And I agree with her wisdom. When you don’t ask for help when you truly need it you are denying someone of a blessing. It not only helps the one asking but also the one giving.
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Gail: I love your perspective on asking for help! 🙂
Christa,
Thanks for sharing this with the rest of us. As someone who’s known your parents since they got engaged, I’ve had the privilege of meeting your Mimaw, she is a wise and wonderful woman. I shared your blog post with a lovely young lady named Lily who is leaving on Friday for Anderson College (a Christian college in SC) so she can share in Mrs. Vogt’s wisdom. You two have a lot in common.
My family lives all around Bethel University! Your mom knows how to reach me if you’d like to expand your list of people to call when you need help or just want to visit a family and have a good home cooked meal!
Best wishes to you as you begin this wonderful journey!
Author
Barb: Your comment brought tears to my eyes. And yes, I will share it with Christa. She and Rob are upstairs checking her luggage one last time. We leave early, early tomorrow. I am so glad our friendship spans the geographical distance — and the years.
How wonderful she was able to have this engagement with her grandmother.