I shared with a friend this week how my emotional margin is depleted and how, at the same time, I’m pushing to meet some self-imposed goals.
She listened. This friend always listens.
And then she spoke some much-needed truth to me.
About how my circumstances probably weren’t going to change right now. And that maybe, instead of pushing against the circumstances, I should consider changing my expectations. (And yes, I’m paraphrasing here.)
I forced myself — yes, forced myself — to sit and listen to her. I resisted my first reaction to insist, “No. I need to do this .. and this … and this.”
Doing all that would only deplete my emotional margin even more.
By waiting and listening, I heard my friend ask, “Maybe you can accept that God has something different for you during this time than what you had planned?”
And that was the best part of the truth.
With those words, life wasn’t tripped up by what I wasn’t getting accomplished. It became about what good thing I would miss out on — what God-thing I would miss out on — if I didn’t let go of my expectations, my demands, for today, and tomorrow, and the next day.
Changing my attitude, my approach to life, didn’t mean I lowered my expectations. But I did relax my grip on them. Refused to strangle the life and breath out of them with “shoulds” and “musts.”
And you know what? I’m happier for it.
In Others’ Words: What do you need to do today to be a bit happier: improve your reality or lower your expectations?
In Others' Words: Two Ways to be Happy http://bit.ly/2K3SqkH #quotes #expectations Click To Tweet 'There were two ways to be happy: improve your reality, or lower your expectations.' Quote by @jodipicoult http://bit.ly/2K3SqkH #reality #expectations Click To Tweet
Comments 7
I’m thankful you got that good advice and are at peace with it. I’m seeing this week to have more peace about the time spent on emails or social media (for the most part) where it involves staying in touch, agreeing in prayer, encouraging, and rejoicing in victories. In fact, in eternity’s view, that may be one of my most important and enduring tasks. I’m thrilled to have seen some wonderful answers to prayer recently with more solidly on the horizon.
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Dee: You bring up a good point — that there are seasons when life isn’t about us and what we want to do, but more about others and interceding for them, encouraging them, praying for them … and maybe that needs to be always “in season.”
Beth, I might have needed to hear this THIS morning. Thank you for sharing. I need to lower my expectations, for sure. It’s hard, but that’s what I need right now. Today.
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Jeanne: Just remember, it’s more “adjusting” your expectations. Not lowering … allowing yourself to breathe and be where and who God wants you to be.
I’m happiest going for broke. Going to die anyway; may as well go out in a blaze of glory.
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Andrew: Even going for broke, I know there are days you adjust your expectations — but you never quit. Never every quit. And I respect that about you.
Beth, in this life that has become nothing if not elemental, I’ve learned that adjusting expectations simply means the amount of pain one is willing to endure.
It’s not a ‘no pain, no gain’ moto mantra; it’s just that some things are going to hurt, and some days they will hurt a lot worse.
Accepting that robs pain (and his doppelganger, the fear of pain) of power; not all power, but enough to make the difference
Pain’s an old friend. I don’t really mind his company. He reminds me that I’m still doing my best.