@bethvogt
When I chose “listen” as my One Word for 2020, I had no idea how this year was going to play out.
None of us expected any of the circumstances of 2020. I’ve found ways to manage the ongoing chaos. I start each day by reading Psalm 91. Limit how much news I watch. Look forward to the daily memes my son-in-love Nate sends the family, like the one that said, “You made it to June 2020. Welcome to level 6 of Jumanji.”
We’re six months into this year, which is when I like to evaluate how my One Word is influencing my choices. And yes, listening continues to be a priority.
I’ve learned there are two parts to listening:
- How well I’m listening to what other people are saying to me
- How well I’m listening to what I’m saying to myself
At the start of 2020, I focused solely on listening to others. Being intentional about lasering in when someone talked to me. I avoided texting or posting on Facebook or working on a graphic when I was in the middle of a conversation – either face-to-face on when I was on the phone with someone. In the past, I believed I could listen and multitask. Even worse, sometimes I’d process what I wanted to say while the other person was still talking.
I still want others to know I’m all in when they’re talking to me. That my silence indicates I hear them, not that I’m thinking about something else or wishing I was somewhere else. And I want to listen to both the comfortable and uncomfortable conversations.
But I’m realizing I also need to listen to what I’m saying to myself throughout the day. I need to pay closer attention to my internal self-talk.
This year’s been rough. I go to bed weary and wake up weary. Yes, circumstances are difficult right now – and that is an understatement – but I also have a choice about how I react to what’s happening. How I think about things. I need to monitor the chatter inside my head because my internal dialogue influences my emotions, which affects my outlook.
I need to be aware of the negative things I allow to ram around my head because listening to that kind of thinking wears me down. I need to mute that kind of talk. Change channels. Choose kinder, gentler words. Amplify the positive.
So that’s me and my One Word halfway through 2020. How are you doing with your One Word? And if you didn’t pick One Word, it’s not too late. Or maybe you need to check your self-talk, too. Care to join me?
Choosing to Listen to Others and to Myself https://bit.ly/2YhgGqU #perspective #listening Click To Tweet 'The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them.' Quote by Ralph Nichols https://bit.ly/2YhgGqU #relationships #listen Click To Tweet
Comments 12
Dear Beth, I am in a near panic. I always ask God for a phrase or scripture to be His guiding light for me. I just sit here blank. The worries of 2020, the level 6 of Jumanji, have wiped it away.
BUT GOD. He recalls and restores and renews . “Worship the Lord in the Splendor of His Holiness.” There. That’s it.
Thanking you for listening and reminding me where I’m most at home.
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Renee: This year has unsettled all of us. It’s wonderful how you continue to lean into God, continue to trust Him in the midst of all the circumstances. You could choose the phrase “BUT GOD” — a friend and I talked about just that yesterday — or you could choose the word “Worship” based on the verse you shared today. (Psalm 96:9) Praying for you, friend.
Another good post, especially the importance of really listening to ourselves to know what WE think. I used to be very bad at that and found that I best knew what was really in my heart if I wrote a letter to a trusted friend, sometimes long and detailed. The neat thing is that sometimes after I wrote it, I didn’t need to send it. I had aired the subject and knew what the right conclusions were–for me for a period that was another helpful way of “listening”.
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Dee: I applaud the idea of writing down your thoughts in the form of a letter to a trusted friend. Oftentimes scribbling things down on paper unscrambles our thoughts and our emotions and helps us determine our values — what direction we want to take, what we should or shouldn’t do.
Mine’s “whatever”.
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My friend: You made me smile with that One Word … and I know you live by greater values than that. But humor is always there for you, too.
Praying for you.
Beth, I don’t have one word, but am also trying to be more intentional and reframe the thoughts inside my head. That’s especially true when I want to keep revisiting the thoughts that inspire regret or remorse or shame. I’ve found it useful to see those moments with today’s knowledge and (hard-won) experience and asking if I would have acted differently at the time. It’s helped me to move beyond the emotions and embrace those times as part of my personal growth.
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Barb: So much wisdom in what you share. Regret, remorse, and shame can become more than a stumbling block — they can shackle us to the past so that we don’t grow. We don’t recognize that we’ve changed. So much experience is hard-won, and sometimes we need to forgive others and ourselves. Stand in the wide open spaces of God’s grace. (Romans 5:1-2 The Message)
Beth, I love the beauty and the wisdom in your words. Listening to myself . . . yes, I need to be more aware of what my inner voice is saying. And sometimes, it needs correcting and adjusting.
My word is Present. I’ve gotten lots of practice at being present with my family this year. I’m learning with my boys that it’s okay to say, “Let me finish this so I can listen to you.” They do have a knack for catching me in the middle of a sentence or a thought or a task. I want to give them my full attention when they’re talking. I’m also learning to not push when I want to engage with them, but they’d rather not.
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Jeanne: I love your 2020 One Word. And you’re so wise to set a loving boundary and say, “Let me finish so I can listen to you.” So smart! It’s okay to realize that what you are doing is important also and that to be fully present you need to finish what you’re doing.
Dear Beth,
My word for 2020 is focus. It is amazing to me that I started the year asking God to keep me focused and in the 3rd month a pandemic hits. God is faithful and my phrase to all that I can reach is “Keep looking up…the view is better”
God Bless you…
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Thomasine: “Keep looking up … the view is better.” Perspective changes everything, including us, yes? Love what you shared.