Why We Need to “Mind Our Mind”
by @bethvogt
Mind your manners.
Chances are, we’ve all said those words before.
Maybe we’ve also been reminded to mind our manners.
When we mind our manners, we’re taking extra care to be polite. To remember, as I would tell my kiddos when they were younger, to use their “nice words,” like please and thank you.
But as I sat in in my room the other night fighting against a mental funk, I decided maybe we should say: “Mind your mind.”
Then I wondered how many thoughts filled my mind in a given day. Well, thanks to Google and a 2005 study by the National Science Foundation, I found an answer: The average person has 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day.
Surprised?
Keep reading.
The study determined that 80% of those thousands of thoughts are negative. And 95% percent are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before.
Now my mental funk made more sense. I still didn’t know why I was struggling – I couldn’t pinpoint the exact thought that took me down. But one thing I did know: I’d probably had the same thought on replay for a good while.
Does this scenario sound familiar at all, friends?
We’ve got thousands of thoughts running rampant in our minds during any 24-hour period. And thanks to the research of some unknown scientists, we now know most of those thoughts are both (a) negative and (b) reruns from the day before … and repeat, repeat, repeat, day after day after day.
Truth is, some of us didn’t need a scientific study to tell us that. We wake up, greet the day, and there they are: the same thoughts we dealt with the day before.
Sometimes it is negative self-talk we’ve been saying to ourselves for years. We look in the mirror and we see something we’ve never liked about ourselves. Again. And we let the criticism run for the rest of the day.
Or we hear that voice – the one that never stops talking – saying “You’ll never be good enough” or “I’m so disappointed in you” or “You could have tried harder” and then it recedes into the background noise in your mind – soft, unhealthy mental judgements.
Sometimes it’s just one word.
Stupid.
Ugly.
Unwanted.
Failure.
One word on an endless loop in our mind. We’re not paying attention … but we are listening. Subconsciously, we’re hearing all that negative chatter.
This is where the “mind your mind” part comes in.
Of course, there’s no way we can monitor every single thought we have. Not going to happen. But we can certainly be proactive about creating a healthier mindset.
- Decide who is going to be your voice of authority. Oftentimes, we’ve handed this role to critical people who have no right to be controlling our thoughts and actions. We need to choose who gets to have a say in our lives.
- Start the day off with a positive affirmation. I like “This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24). I started saying this with a walking buddy – and now I say it on a daily basis. What’s something uplifting you could say to start your day?
- Do a mind-assessment. If you find yourself skidding mentally, take a break and retrace your thoughts. Try to pinpoint if a particular comment or interaction triggered the negative emotions. Reset your mindset with prayer or music or meditation.
What do you do to “mind your mind”?
The Danger of Believing Everything We Think http://bit.ly/2GEjyIf #bepositive #choices Click To Tweet 'The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.' quote by Marcus Aurelius http://bit.ly/2GEjyIf #behappy #choices Click To Tweet
Comments 14
I really try not to think,
and still less to reflect.
I’d rather just go and drink,
let booze cover retrospect.
What others said about me
is probably correct,
but I, somewhat naughtily,
will not confer respect.
They didn’t walk in my shoes,
they didn’t drink my beer.
so when they add my scores:
“Dude, you weren’t f***ing HERE.”
My mental tape’s not on ‘replay’,
and I’m having a terrific day.
Author
Andrew, Andrew, Andrew …
I know it’s true that you stand on your own two feet and don’t listen to other’s opinions of you.
But I also know you are compassionate and kind.
I hope you are faring well in the midst of it all, my friend.
Beth, well, I do try to be compassionate and kind.
Things have gotten to the “How am I ever going to get through the next hour?” point, and breath comes really hard.
But I’m still having a terrific day.
Author
You are one person I know who states the truth and chooses to always end on a positive note: I’m in pain but hey, I’m fine.
And I know you’re not bluffing. Both are true for you.
This one hits so close to home. It’s funny how I’ve heard some of those thoughts and words for most of my life, “lazy,” “not good enough,” “kidding myself.” It takes a lot of encouragement to break through that loop of negativeness. And as early morning sets the tone for my day, this post comes just in time. Thank you for reminding me to erase that “Ugly Words” playlist and replace it with a “Praise & Positive Thoughts Mix,” instead.
Author
Angela,
I like your visual of a mental playlist. There have been times I have mentally changed the channel in my head — virtually switched the station to something else more positive than the one that was on at the moment. (And who knew how long it had been playing before I took notice?)
Oh Beth…how accurate the aim of this arrow! This echoes with what happens far too often in my head. Thank you for sharing.
Author
Lori: I’m glad you were encouraged by this post. Honestly, the research shocked me: 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day — and most of them negative?! I read that out loud to my husband and daughter — what a wake up call.
Excellent advice, dear Beth. I loved this post. My most important task each morning to help me “mind my mind” is to choose a Bible verse for the day and write it in my journal. On tough days I scribble it onto a sticky note and post it somewhere prominent.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
Author
Wendy: I love your idea of posting a verse somewhere prominent! I’ve been involved with a monthly Scripture writing plan for 3 years now — writing out verses each morning. And it’s a great way to “mind my mind.”
I love the idea of writing out a verse each morning, Beth. As I get older, I can’t depend on my mind to remember the uplifting verses in Scripture. I have a good concordance I can use to find verses on joy, security, and God’s love. I’m going to start this in the morning.
Author
Hi, Sherry: I use a particular program by Shannon over at Sweet Blessings. She publishes a new themed plan each month, and also keeps her other plans archived on her website. Here’s a link to February’s plan: http://www.swtblessings.com/2019/01/february-scripture-writing-plan-health.html
Wonderful blog! I had to laugh when I saw this verse: “This is the day the Lord has made, we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24). This has been a constant refrain for me this winter, because well, it’s WINTER!
The other things I do to “mind my mind” is read a devotional each morning and look constantly at the plaque hanging over my computer. Philippians 4:8.
Author
Winter can be a challenge to slog through, especially if you deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). I have friends and family members who do. You have to find the right coping mechanisms and choose to “mind your mind” all the more. And yes, how we start our days makes a difference.