Learning to Balance Our Emotions
by @bethvogt
“This is a deadline, not a crisis.”
I woke up in the middle of the night with that phrase running through my head.
I’d gone to bed a couple of hours earlier frustrated yet again. Staring down a looming writing deadline and an insufficient word count.
I’d been chasing that deadline for days – weeks, really – and always coming up short. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
I ended each day anxious. Calling myself a failure because I wasn’t accomplishing the goals I set for myself.
Then I heard those words: “This is a deadline, not a crisis.”
And I could breathe again.
I knew God, who promises me rest and hope, had whispered those words to my weary heart.
A deadline is manageable.
A crisis? That’s overwhelming.
It’s so easy for me to go into crisis-mode – and to stay there.
When we’ve lived in a state of constant crisis (for whatever reason), we tend to get stuck there. We don’t even realize it.
I remember years ago sharing with my friend Wise Guy how I evaluated problems that came my way. Here was my method: I would ask one question, “Is this a crisis?”
Easy yes or no, right?
Wise Guy settled back in his chair. Looked at me and said, “You know, there’s a lot of things in between a crisis or not a crisis, right?”
I had to pause and think on that for a while. I hadn’t even realized my evaluation system was faulty. Crisis or not – and nothing else in between? That’s an inflexible and exhausting way to evaluate situations, wouldn’t you agree?
Until God’s whisper two nights ago, I hadn’t realized I’d fallen back into crisis-mode thinking again. I’d backed myself into a corner emotionally, where there was no way of escape.
Once I put my situation back into perspective – I was on deadline. Just on deadline. – I could handle things with calmness and clarity. I’m an author. I work with deadlines all the time. I also hadn’t missed my deadline. No, I just wanted to be further ahead with my deadline.
My screaming, “MAY DAY! MAY DAY!” inside my head was unnecessary. It was akin to throwing a fire alarm because I’d seen a pack of matches and a box of birthday candles lying next to each other in the junk drawer in my kitchen. Pure supposition on my part.
Reality is, I’ve had a few crises in recent months that have tipped me out of balance. It’s time to stop. To find center again and allow my emotions to regain equilibrium. Just because I’ve dealt with some emergencies doesn’t mean I should live in a constant state of crisis. Life is so much more than crisis or not.
Do You Operate in Crisis Mode? http://bit.ly/2H0E31L #balance #emotions Click To Tweet 'Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance and order and rhythm and harmony.' #quote by Thomas Merton #emotionalhealth Click To Tweet
Comments 8
Each day really is a crisis,
truly life or death,
a constant search for devices
to keep my literal breath.
I can’t recall the days now gone
when I danced upon the ice
which seemed so very thick and strong
to bear an earthly paradise,
for hell is now in session here,
cancer holds the lease,
and ice gives way to boiling mere
from which there’s no surcease.
But still, in this flaming sulph’rous hour
blooms joy’s bright steadfast flower.
Author
Andrew: Even on those days when we don’t touch base via email, you are in my prayers. And I know you walk a path many of us can’t imagine. I also know you choose faith. You choose courage — again and again. Praying for you, my friend.
Some days feel like I live on 24/7 drama set. (There are times that I can almost hear the “duh-duh-DUH” as I I hang up the phone.)
But maybe I’m “borrowing trouble” as my grandmother used to say. Imagining the worst does no one any favors and can stifle creativity faster than blowing out a candle.
Thank you, Beth, for your wise words. And that poem was perfect, Andrew!
Author
Angie: You make a good point: imagining the worst does stifle creativity. And the enemy desires to do that, doesn’t he? Because our writing is one way we reflect God to the world. Living in a constant state of crisis also stifles hope and our ability to encourage others.
I love your statement: “This is a deadline, not a crisis.” For years, I worked for Christian publishers and religious nonprofits who made EVERY deadline a crisis for my life, requiring overtime and time away from my children to make deadlines set not by a realistic production schedule but by marketing. Yea, I pulled all-nighters and made all my deadlines, at a high cost for myself and to my children. Now I tell my authors, who are very responsible, that a crisis in their family or caring for sick family members is more important than a deadline. I prefer that they focus taking care of their family first, because they can never recapture that time lost. Family crises are like toddler tantrums, if you don’t stop right then and there to deal with the issue, no matter how inconvenient, it will only get worse. Better to handle the crisis as it happens, than to put it off. There’s always time to write and to publish in God’s timing. Too often Christians “sacrifice” only for the gain of others and to our own loss. Balance is also about boundaries and realizing what’s reasonable.
Author
Scoti: Balance is about boundaries. So, so true. And it’s true whether you are a writer or an engineer or a hairstylist or a physician or a teacher. What we do with our lives should not be lived in such a way that we forget who we are — and that we forget about those we love. Yes, there are times when we truly do face disasters. But not all of life is a disaster — and we can breathe normally, think normally, and enjoy life.
I only had time tonight (company visiting here) to read all of this but love your point about there being many measuring points between deadline (or overload) and crisis. I love your vulnerability, your beautiful surgeon scalpel precision with words that massage and settle our hearts. And I love you!
Author
Dee: Thank you for your continually affirmation as I choose to speak words of truth here. I hope I encourage others … and that others know they can speak their truth too.