@bethvogt
I’m determined to choose hope even as I struggle to comprehend another senseless act of violence, this time in Boulder, Colorado.
Is there an act of violence that ever makes sense?
My husband Rob and I spent a long weekend in Minnesota, visiting our youngest daughter whose spring break morphed into a volleyball pre-season. Good days. Good conversations. Lots of laughter. Even more hugs.
Hours after we arrived home in Colorado, a friend texted me and said she was praying for our Colorado communities.
I had no clue what she meant.
Then came her words: A shooting in CO. I’m so sorry. I thought you’d have known.
I spent Monday evening scanning for updates on the mass shooting at a King Soopers grocery store in Boulder, CO. Grieving the deaths of 10 people, including one police officer who responded to the threat. Unable to fathom why the suspect would do something so horrible.
Since yesterday, I’ve been in a wrestling match with fear. Determined to not let it get a chokehold on my emotions.
News headlines incite fear by providing too much information about what happened in Boulder. By dredging up the horrific details of similar events in the past.
A mass shooting could happen again – after all, how many times has this already happened in U.S. history?
It could happen to someone I love. To me. At the most unexpected of times. The most unexpected places, like a neighborhood grocery store.
Fear burrows into our minds and hearts. Cripples our ability to live in peace. To live with hope.
How do we live with the reality of evil in this world without being overwhelmed?
Oddly enough, we have to allow ourselves to be stunned by violence just like what happened in Boulder Colorado on Monday, March 22, 2021. We can’t become unfeeling. Uncaring. We can’t reduce tragedy to a mere headline.
We have to grapple with the fear. The grief. The loss. Choose to believe, again and again, that we are not defined by someone’s reckless, senseless, evil action.
These kinds of determined choices birth hope.
We must choose faith in spite of heartache. In spite of others disappointing us. Judging us. Harming us.
Their atrocious actions do not define us. Our actions, our choices, define us.
If I say I am a woman of faith, then I must cling to my faith in all circumstances, not just the easy ones. Fear is a mighty opponent, but hope, chosen again and again, is mightier.
My hope should never be placed in the actions of others.
My hope is in God, who has not failed me yet, and who will not fail me, come what may.
Comments 11
Beth,
Thanks for this post. I’ve struggled more with heartache over these recent attacks. My heart goes out to all the victims, their friends and families. I’ve been moved to tears over the pain inflicted by these men. You said it all so beautifully.
My word for 2021 is Hope, and your words have been just the reminder I needed. Thanks!
Author
Jackie: Choosing hope is so challenging — it is a deliberate mindset every single day in the face of heartbreaking circumstances. My One Word is Listen, but I find myself also leaning into the word HOPE again and again this year. Praying for you today, my friend.
Some will say that hope and fear
can’t occupy the self-same space,
but to me it is quite clear
that they’re conjunction’s grace,
for they are horse and horseman,
integral to the soul,
adhering to a master plan
to keep us safe and whole.
Fear’s the fleet-of-foot alarm,
controlled but not rejected
by hope, which can’t forestall the harm,
but can yet keep us protected
by careful use of spur and rein,
a sure gallop ‘cross a deadly plain.
Author
Andrew: Tried and true insight, I’m sure, my friend. And as I searched for quotes for this post, it’s odd how I paired the words “Hope and fear” instead of separating them.
Beth, I think the pairing is significant; there’s a necessary dynamic tension between the two.
For me, personally…I spent the night in a lot of pain (chest, neck, abdomen, femurs), there’s a large tumour on my chest wall that casts its very own shadow, and I’m bleeding internally (don’t ask how I know!). Scary stuff. I joke about it (“I’ve got a baaad feeling about this!”) but it’s flat-out terrifying.
So yes, there’s fear; nothing will push that aside, nor should it, because only by its acceptance, and by my embracing it, can hope have the space to grow.
Author
Andrew: You and I agree: we have to face the fear to grasp hold of hope.
Praying for you, my friend. For courage. For hope.For strength.
Beth, I was thinking of how to make an aphorism of this. How about (drum roll, please):
“Fear is the tree in whose shelter courage grows.”
Author
Oh, Andrew, it’s odd how I like that!
I choose to go to God. He is help, He is hope, He is faith.
Author
So well said, Denise. Yes, God is all these things — and so much more.
While away, I fell behind in post rdgs. This is great and your word choices really drive your points and the emotions home–very effective and you offer great choices and comfort.