There’s a lot of change going on around me right now.
- My son and his wife are awaiting the arrival of their baby, which is due in early August. They’re also moving into a new home before then. Well, that’s the plan, anyway. We all know due dates are approximations, right?
- My middle daughter and her husband are moving back to Colorado from Georgia.
- My youngest daughter is heading to college in less than a month.
“Change” for my family involves packing boxes and scheduling moving vans, as well as new life, new homes, new states, new jobs, and new friends.
Lots of adjustments.
And there’s no skipping any of it.
One thing I’ve learned: Transition is hard.
There’s no way to soften that statement or pretty it up. Even when you want the change – when the change is good and welcome and written on the calendar – transition is hard.
When we’re in transition, life isn’t what it was and it isn’t what it’s going to be. We’re caught somewhere in the middle, waiting for everything to settle out into the new “normal.” But until then, we’re uncomfortable.
And I don’t know anyone who likes to be uncomfortable.
Here’s my analogy for transition:
It’s like you were sitting in a familiar little boat named “Normal” that was tied securely to a dock. And then someone came and cut the boat loose from the dock. Now you’re floating downstream and you don’t know how long this voyage is going to last. You just want to get to the next dock, where you can tie your “Normal” boat back up and feel secure again.
Of course, it helps ease the transition if we’ve chosen the change. The new baby or the new home or the new school. But sometimes, the shift is unplanned or unwelcome, making everything all the more challenging.
With time, I’ve learned to accept the uncomfortableness of all the flux with a little more grace than I used to. Picturing that little “Normal” boat floating downstream reminds me that, yes, we’re moving from the known to the unknown, and this helps me stretch emotionally as we navigate uncharted waters.
And just because something is hard, that doesn’t mean it is impossible. I remind myself that I’ve been through upheaval before – moves overseas, an unexpected deployment, health crises – and I’ll figure out how to manage life change again.
We’re either settled in our normal … or we’re in transition. Comfortable … or uncomfortable. Of course, normal is nice, but transition is not optional. We just need to remember it is survivable. Transition is movement … a progression – not a permanent place of residence.
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Comments 16
Yes, the times they are a changin’,
and way more for the worst.
I’ve got some tumours re-arrangin’,
and dude, I think I’m cursed.
Too tired now for aspiration,
and too much pain for thought.
Faver’s high, no perspiration,
and I eat less than I ought.
New Normal really sucks, big time,
so I hang on to the old,
and what the hell, I paid my dime;
“Body, do as thou art told!”
I will not accept this last transition,
and rebellion is my final mission.
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Andrew: I know each day you face the same Adversary again and again and that you choose to be brave … again and again.
Joining my prayers with others, my friend.
Maybe it’s because of the visual accompanying this, not sure, but as I read I do see a lovely flowing river in motion, coming from somewhere and with living intensity going somewhere–a destination, and it is a good thing. To be still would be stagnation. I sense that this transition time, each of these quite major changes, are very constructive and will produce much joy as the good deep river of your family progresses in God’s design.
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Dee: Transition is motion, as you say, and there is an ultimate destination. Sometimes we know it … sometimes we don’t. In my family’s season of transition, we’re all fortunate to know where we’re going and when — well, except for the exact arrival of the baby. 🙂 Thanks for your encouraging words.
The older I get, the more I dislike change. But it is inevitable.
Author
Susan: I’m not crazy about change, either. I think most of us like being comfortable. But transition happens and we need to lean into it rather than ignoring it. Ignoring it only makes the process more challenging. It’s also good to consider how we can help someone else going through transition — practically and emotionally.
Sometimes when that boat named ‘Normal’ is adrift or on its journey, you’ll see or experience something that creates a joy or promotes growth that you would have missed by staying tied to that safe dock. I find that while transitions have become harder as I get older, I’ve learned to look for the unanticipated lessons or surprises on the way to my renamed vessel–The New Normal.
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Barb: There’s so much wisdom in your words about how during a time of transition we often experience joy or we grow in a new way that we would have missed if we’d stayed back in our normal circumstances. Thanks for the reminder!
This makes me think of your word for this year: anchor. The boat may be moving, but that anchor is still secure. My Rock: the older I get, the more I hide under Him for stability. He is my only unchanging safe place.
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Fran: Such a good reminder! “He is the stability of our times” Isaiah 33:6. I love this verse because it reminds me that even when life is so unsettled, I still have stability — and peace — because of Him.
I’m in a transition. The oldest is getting married. It shouldn’t be this difficult. People shouldn’t be hateful to each other. It’s just gotten ugly and it should be a beautiful time.
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Denise: I’m so sorry to hear that things have gotten so stressful around your family’s wedding. Unfortunately, I’ve seen it happen over and over again. I hope you can find peace in the midst of all this … and that others can choose peace and joy, too.
Never much enjoyed being on the water and life keeps cutting my boat loose.
Too many transitions. Young at heart has given way to old and sad. Conquered, crushed, afraid, and weary. My words are stopped up and writing has ceased. I do not like who I’ve become. Can I sell the boat? Buy a comfy chair with a view of the water and rest a while?
The real and raw of boating life today.
Author
Praying for calmer waters for you, friend. I know life has been hard for you in recent months. Harder than hard.
Dear Beth, thank you for these wise and timely words. Transitions aren’t as taxing when we remember we’re not alone. I also believe that the harder they are, the less alone we are because the Comforter comes close to the weary and/or brokenhearted.
I’ll be counting on Him as change draws nigh. May you feel His arms around you when your family’s schedules are shuffled like cards.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
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Wendy, It’s so true that our faith strengthens us during times of transition. Knowing He goes before us … that He walks alongside us … this truth provides such comfort.