What determines your happiness: your circumstances or your attitude?
I would have to say there were times … are times … I allow my circumstances to determine whether I’m happy or not.
Things go right — the way I want them to go — and I’m happy. All good.
Things go wrong? I’m fighting against the drag of my emotions. And sometimes … sometimes, I let the discouraged, displeased, disappointed reactions rule the day.
There are times I can control my circumstances … and times I can’t. But I can control my attitude. (And when I can’t, well, that’s a good time to be quiet. Very, very quiet.)
Recently, I traveled with my agent to visit my publisher in Chicago. We flew into Chicago O’Hare Airport, which I try to avoid whenever I travel. When your publisher is in Chicago, Chicago O’Hare is unavoidable.
The trip in? No problem. The trip back to Denver? Delayed. That’s when I started getting a bit tense, especially because it was snowing. My agent? She smiled and said, “Don’t stress about what you can’t control.”
Good attitude, right?
I can’t control the weather. I also had no control over our delayed flight. N-O-N-E. We’d either make it back to Colorado that night, or we wouldn’t.
Want to know what I did?
I followed her lead and I faked the right attitude — and we were both happier.
In Your Words: What attitude helps you be happy when circumstances are working against you?
In Others' Words: The Certainty of Happiness https://wp.me/p63waO-2Ch #perspective #quotes Click To Tweet 'A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes.' quote by Hugh Downs https://wp.me/p63waO-2Ch #happiness #perspective Click To Tweet
Comments 12
I enjoy O’Hare, actually…Helmut Jahn’s United terminal is a classic, and reminds of Eero Saarinen’s effort for TWA at JFK.
Happiness is ever a choice, and its worst enemy is comparison.
Hope that’s enough. Too ill by far to elaborate.
But still happy.
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Andrew: Yes, “Comparison is the thief of joy” or so says Theodore Roosevelt, and I would agree.
Fairly early in life I saw the impact of negative emotions in people around me and decided not to pay that price. They often stressed about things that might happen but seldom did. How much better to expect things to go well, and if there’s a glitch, then cope. It usually works, but I have to confess this weekend, after already experiencing warmer temps in Mississippi this spring, it got to me when our Minnesota neighborhood got a dump of 22″ of snow. Life as we know it came to a grinding halt. Not fun. Most schools got closed again yesterday but roads are now open, the rash of accidents over, but my attitude sagged with cabin fever. I’m thankful it’s over and if this scenario ever repeats itself (pray God it doesn’t) will do my best to dig deeper with confidence that after all, the sun is always shining and will eventually persevere.
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You are a woman of great perseverance, Dee. I’ve learned a lot from watching you. And yes, I do not want negative emotions ruling me. Sometimes they “whoosh!” rush in — but I can choose to shove ’em back out.
I also believe happiness is a choice. Yes, circumstances are challenging at times. As a writer, one of the things I’ve learned is when I want to know how a character feels, put the expression she would have on my face and I begin to understand her inner feelings. I find if I feel myself beginning to slip into unhappiness or frustration, if I put a big smile on my face, my insides begin to catch up. It works for me. May be rather simple but, it works.
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Susan: Your comment made me smile — see how that works? — because my family will often look at me and ask,”What is wrong with you?” Nothing’s wrong — it’s just I’m trying to figure out how my character is feeling and that emotion is all over my face. I don’t even realize it, but my family is seeing all sorts of facial contortions while I’m writing.
So yes, choosing to smile is often the first step to changing a bad attitude. Love it!
Beth, I love this quote. There’s so much truth in it! And I. Your word. I’m learning that my attitude often affects my home environment. I can let the boys trigger my mood, or I can choose to maintain a positive/happy attitude. Sometimes, it’s as simple as remembering I get to choose how I respond to the situation.
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I agree with you, Jeanne. I love this quote, too. And yes, we choose our attitude. We. Choose.
When things are going wrong in my life, purposefully having an attitude of thankfulness for His blessings truly helps me. 🙂
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Melissa: Gratitude does change my attitude. And when things start going wrong, I’m learning to ask, “Where are you in this circumstance, God?” instead of asking, “Why?”
My mother-in-law was a classic worrier. She lived with us and when we left going somewhere, in her mind, she gave us a certain amount of time to get back. If we were late, she imagined every terrible thing that could happen to us. When we returned safe and sound, sometimes she actually seemed angry…that’s when I made up my mind that worry was a total waste of time.
When something goes wrong, if I can fix it, I do. If I can’t, then I put it out of my mind.
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Pat: My maternal grandmother was a worrier, too. When she died, all the worry was gone from her face — I almost didn’t recognize her when I saw her at the funeral parlor (sorry if this sounds morbid) but all the stress, all the anxiety, was gone from her face.
That was a huge lesson for me.