Ah, the complicated bonds between sisters …
The shared history of family memories can pull sisters closer … and at other times, the same events can push sisters apart.
As sisters grow up and become independent, comparison and competition may flare, straining once comfortable familial closeness.
Add a secret to the mix — like I do with the Thatcher sisters in my novel, Things I Never Told You, which celebrates its one month birthday on June 8 — and relationships become all the more messy. Secrets distort relationships, hindering communication and closeness. Sometimes family members enmeshed in the secret may feel like guests invited to some mystery party, without any directions of how to interact.
When we know someone well, we often think we are safe with that person. But that isn’t always the case. Familiarity doesn’t always equal safety. Remember the words of the classic song by the Mills Brothers? “You always hurt the one you love.” Those lyrics refer to romantic love, yes, but the words can also apply to the power of family relationships — and more specifically, to sister relationships.
Intimacy born out of close sister relationships provides you the insight … the power … to know exactly how to hurt your sister like no one else can. You know your sister’s weaknesses. You know how to push her buttons to make her cry … or to make her angry … or to shame her into silence.
As I wrote Things I Never Told You and released it into the world, I heard stories of sisters who love and stand by one another … and sisters who, yes, have hurt one another. Most often, the stories I heard were a mix of pulling one another close and then one another pushing away.
There’s no denying the power of sister relationships … and there’s no simple way to define sister relationships, either. It all comes down to choices … and sometimes, when secrets are involved, truth and consequences.
But that’s another blog post.
In Your Words: One thing’s for certain: Sister relationships are not neutral. I’ve shared some thoughts on sister relationships today — and written a novel about them (with a second one coming out next May!) What are some of your thoughts about sister relationships?
In Others' Words: The Uniqueness of Sister Relationships http://bit.ly/2sMRBEn #sisters #relationships Click To Tweet '#Sisters, as you know, have a unique #relationship. This is the person who has known you your entire life, who should love you and stand by you no matter what ...' quote by Lisa See http://bit.ly/2sMRBEn Click To TweetGood
GOODREADS GIVEAWAY: Enter the Goodreads Giveaway from June 1-30 for a chance to win one of the 100 Kindle ebooks of my latest release, Things I Never Told You.
Enter the June 1-30 #GoodReadsGiveaway to win one of the 100 #Kindle ebooks of Things I Never Told You by award-winning author @bethvogt. @LibraryJournal praised this novel for its “emotionally rich drama.” https://buff.ly/2LcUDcW Click To Tweet
Comments 6
I don’t have a sister, and as a bloke I’m not one, but I see that relationship every day in my almost-all-female service dog crew.
They squabble and harrass one another to the last inch of endurance, but when I’m needing CPR, they work together. They may break ribs, but they’ve brought me back several times.
And when, as yesterday, Jesus really did come to take me home – they attacked.
“Not OUR Dad, not today!”
Author
Such an interesting example of sisters, Andrew …
and I am so thankful your service dogs take such good care of you — especially yesterday!
I am blessed with two wonderful sisters. One is 12 years older than me and the other is 17 years older than me. We share love, laughter, joys and sorrows. I am thankful for Carol and Glenda. 🙂
Author
Melissa:
Thank you for joining the conversation today and sharing about your sisters, Carol and Glenda. My youngest daughter, CJ, is 12 1/2 years younger than one sister, and almost 14 years younger than her other sister. And yet they are all close. And for that, I am thankful. My novel, Things I Never Told You, is dedicated to the three of them.
Finally getting to respond to this post. How I love my sister!
Michele, and I were born 363 days apart and often mistaken for twins. There’s a photo somewhere of her in her infant seat with me crouched alongside, both wearing tea towels pinned over our shoulders like capes. I was Batman and she was my Robin.
We shared a room till high school. So many dreams shared as we lay in bed at night, and so often in trouble for giggling when we were supposed to be sleeping. We played records, practiced dance moves incessantly, and fought over who got to be Paul McCartney’s girlfriend.
Our teen years come with a playlist that instantly takes us both back to people, and places, and times that were alternately fun-filled, confusing, adventurous, hurtful, and hilarious.
All of that leaving us both prepared and ill-prepared for real life, marriage, and our own families.
We have been blessed to live in the same city for all these years, and even now, decades later, I can still call on her when the bat signal goes up and I need an ally in any struggle. Batman and Robin live on.
Author
🙂
Thank you for sharing so beautifully about your sister, Bernadette.