KLowering the Bar to Achieve More
by @bethvogt
Success, my friends, isn’t always about giving our best effort.
Sometimes success is doing a little bit less.
Can I get an “amen!”?
Over the years, my family has learned to ask, “What’s the wise choice?” And sometimes the best, wisest choice is to stop trying so hard.
There are times when we stare down the week ahead and think, “I can’t do it all.”
Maybe that’s exactly right: we can’t do it all. We shouldn’t try to do it all. We were never supposed to try to accomplish all that stuff we crammed into every single second of those upcoming days.
Saying yes, yes, yes, to everything doesn’t set us up for success.
No.
We’re setting ourselves up for one spectacular seven-day failure.
After trying yet again to slog through all my myriad of To Do’s and thinking, “I can’t even …” that’s when I stop. Regroup. And remind myself: When at first you don’t succeed, lower the bar.
Didn’t see that coming, did you?
Forget the “try, try, again” mantra we’re all so familiar with. Trying again and again may achieve success.
Maybe.
But trying again and again when we set the bar too high to begin with is a guaranteed formula for exhaustion and frustration.
Am I advocating we become a bunch of quitters? That we walk away from our dreams and our passions? That we ignore our families and our jobs? That we bail on our commitments?
Of course not.
But I am daring to suggest that we put ourselves back into the success equation. That we admit we were never supposed to do it all. That we realize “self-care” is not a buzz word or a bad word. That lowering the bar might allow us to become the person we’ve always wanted to be.
Success can be found by saying both yes and no. Success can happen by both pushing for a goal and choosing to rest.Too often we make success all about “have to’s” and “more” and “must” and “better” and “best.” Our output today may not be as much as yesterday, but it can still be measured as good because we showed up. We finished . . . and then we took care of ourselves and said, “That is enough for today because there needs to be something of me leftover for tomorrow.”
We are made for both work and rest. To achieve our goals, we need to allow time for both. Today, the bar may need to be set at “rest” for you – and that is a good thing. Victory. Tomorrow may be more about work.
Be successful. Be balanced. Be willing to move the bar higher or lower.
The Fallacy of Doing Our Best: Lowering the Bar to Achieve More http://bit.ly/2HtQ3Zc #success #balance Click To Tweet 'Focus on being balanced. Success is balance.' Quote by @TheRealLailaAli http://bit.ly/2HtQ3Zc #focus #sucess Click To Tweet
Comments 9
Language warning! I’m way past too far gone for decorum. It’s hell, and let the demons run and hide.
Every day’s a maximum effort,
every day I give my all
in this hellish cancer-desert
the choice is stark, succeed or fall.
There is no breath without pain,
and every step’s a killing knife.
Do it today, tomorrow again,
and that sums up this bloody life.
But, you know, I would not trade
this walk on the shores of Styx
for thus are reputations made,
a man like shithouse made of bricks.
So bring the pain, and “Hello, horror!”
I’m gonna whip your ass tomorrow.
Author
Andrew: Thanks for the language warning. But thank you for the constant example of someone whose life has been thrown out of balance by cancer — and yet you strive to live. To live with courage. To live with honor. To live with faith. And to encourage others, too. Praying for you, friend.
Beth, thank you so much for the prayers. It really does take my all, and the energy is fading fast. The normal run of the day, that’s about it or me.
Fancy another poem, composed in reply to your reply?
Every day’s a nightmare here
and the nights are worse.
I’m living on a spinning coin
with no smiling obverse.
I have to face these dim red days,
I must find fortitude,
and make sure that despair stays
not that which I must include.
‘Tis a mental game, this dying
to everything I was before
and I think I’ll be too tired for crying
when I walk through that golden door.
I hope to be empty of all I’ve been given,
as proof that I was really livin’.
Thanks Beth! I needed this permission to quit beating myself up every time I “lower the bar” on the things I think I am supposed to do because I don’t want to take time away from the things I believe God has invited me into.
Author
Lori: You mention an important distinction: what we think we’re supposed to do and what God has invited us to do. I like the word “invited,” too. 🙂
Very good and balancing words are needed for many of us or our target-area bullseye can be so small we seldom hit it. While teaching for years, I heard someone say it’s important to structure lessons and assignments, even long-term ones, so students can achieve some level of measurable success every day. Good counsel, that, and something to live by.
Author
Dee: So, so true! We can so often set our sights on the long-term we forget to pace ourselves … to reward ourselves … to rest. And then we get worn out.
As a retired psych nurse, I often had to teach and encourage my patients to lower the bar. Depression and even dementia limit you to where you think to give up is the only way… because you are so overwhelmed. Have a blessed life.
Author
Hi, Kathleen: Blessings to you, too. Your patients were fortunate to have you — and I hope they were able to hear your encouragement. It’s not about giving up but about adjusting so we can accomplish more realistic goals.