@bethvogt
Our Thanksgiving holiday is complicated this year.
I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised. It is 2020, after all.
A world-wide pandemic doesn’t take a day off so we can observe our annual holiday traditions. Some of us have already decked our halls with fa-la-la-la-la because we just need a little Christmas right now – not later.
Then in the midst of all the “normal” coronavirus stuff, we’re hit with the unexpected. Our already weary shoulders shift to bear the weight of additional sorrows. My family is experiencing grief this holiday season, even as I walk alongside several dear friends who are reeling from tragedy.
Thanksgiving and grief are unlikely companions.
We don’t get to pick the timing of joys or sorrows … or whether the two collide.
For those just entering a season of loss and grief, even the word “thanksgiving” seems foreign. The idea … unfathomable. A day set aside as “Thanksgiving” with a capital “T” does not assuage grief.
Why muffle sorrow with obligatory thankfulness? Grief is an honest emotion that should be respected – not set aside because its timing is off. Maybe, in years to come, family and friends will be thankful they were given the emotional space to mourn.
As we continue to put one foot in front of the other as 2020 winds down, I pray we will not dread the dawning of each new day. As we are able, may we look for reasons to be grateful. Don’t let pandemic fatigue win.
Hope is a renewable commodity. I’m praying for you to find hope today.
What Do We Do When Thanksgiving and Grief Collide? https://bit.ly/2V5yynj #perspective #hope Click To Tweet 'The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not get over the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it....' Quote by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross https://bit.ly/2V5yynj #grief #relationships Click To Tweet
Comments 14
Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you for reminding me to be grateful and, most of all, hopeful. Hope for our future in spite of sickness, grief, loss, is a courageous choice. I’m stepping out with you.
Author
Angie, I so value your companionship as we choose hope in the midst of challenges. The buddy-system is so needed in life, isn’t it?
Beth, I’m so sorry.
How can we now make merry,
and offer joyous sound
when we’ve just had to bury
our love in frozen ground?
How can we now bow our heads
and give You thanks, say grace
in the absence of the dead,
the presence of an empty place?
How can we now come to grips
with dichotomy of point of view
when death ‘midst decoration rips
our paradigm of what is true?
Lord, tell me as You walk with me
on this, my road to Calvary.
Author
Such beautiful words to express what so many of us are feeling, Andrew. Thank you, my friend. Your pen drips truth.
Your poem is so beautiful!
Dear Beth, I appreciate your encouraging words. You know I and my family have been walking the grief road for eight years now, since losing our precious Amy. It’s true that we learn to live with the ache while we rejoice that she is whole and pain-free at last. It’s such a dichotomy. Praying for you and your loved ones.
Author
Anne: I know you understand grief and yes, the dichotomy of it. I am thankful that my mother-in-law can see and hear and walk again. She hated the loss of her sight, hearing, and mobility. I rejoice that she is free of her physical infirmities, but we all miss her — and will do so in the years to come.
I grieve with you Beth. I still miss my mother who passed away 3 years ago on Thanksgiving. My mother-in-law passed away a few days before Thanksgiving 22 years ago. She told us this year we’re having pizza. (She was under Hospice care and unable to cook). Although she passed away before Thanksgiving my husband said we’re still having pizza just like she said. The more family we “lose” the fuller our hearts become, with love and memories.
Author
She bequeathed your family a new Thanksgiving tradition … And yes, I like how you said, “The more family we ‘lose,’ the fuller our hearts become with love and memories.”
What a great line, “Hope is a renewable commodity.” Totally agree and love it. I’m believing this Thanksgiving will be a springboard to better, more meaningful days. I’ll be looking for it so I recognize as soon as it sends up its first green sprouts!
A post I really needed this year. Thank you!
Author
Edie: I thought of you — prayed for you — as I wrote every single word, my friend.
I have gone through this before. Each person will grieve in their own way, but it’s okay to try to enjoy the holiday while still grieving–it’s not dishonoring the memory of the one you lost.
Author
Denise, It’s true, each person grieves in their own way. And yes, we will be sharing memories of Rob’s mom today. It’s a way to hold her close.