We’re eight days into the new year and may I just say I’d like a do-over?
Of course, I know that’s not how life works. There’s no rewind button in life. No pause button, either. We do life in forward motion – sometimes fast-forward.
Circumstances? Well, they are often beyond our control. The first week of this brand-new year has taught me that reality once again.
One of my adult daughters welcomed 2020 from a hospital room. There wasn’t a whole lot of celebration going on. Her husband sat in the room next to her bed and held her hand while she slept – and he was thankful they were together.
The first days of the new year overflowed with stress and concern and sleepless nights intertwined with lots and lots of prayers.
Our family banded together because it’s what we do. We traded off cars and taking care of the two young GRANDgirls and the two big dogs and going to the hospital and getting meals for my son-in-love and answering phone calls and updating Facebook posts so friends would know how to pray. Sometimes we slept. Sometimes we didn’t.
In between the unexpected crisis, we dealt with all the regular stuff of life as best we could because real life goes on even when everything has been upended by a medical emergency.
We all like to think of the new year as a fresh start … something better than what we had last year.
But to be honest, 2019 was a tough year for me. For my family.
And 2020 has started out much the same.
And I know I don’t get a do-over.
And I know I’m not promised easier days ahead.
Yes, it’s a new year, but it’s the same old lesson: I can’t control my circumstances no matter how much I want to. No matter how hard I try.
Life is full of both the hard and the good … and I don’t get to choose what each day holds.
I can only choose how I respond to the circumstances in each day.
And sometimes … sometimes I don’t want to make the right choices. I just want to react. Go with the “why me?” or the “is this ever going to get better?” responses.
It’s easier to act that way, but those kinds of questions just make a tough situation worse.
Instead, I need to:
- Avoid jumping to conclusions. “Life has always been this tough” and “Life will never be any better than this” are not fair statements. Overreacting doesn’t help me or anyone else.
- Be gentle with myself. In times of stress, I find ways to decrease pressure. Naps are good. Saying no to non-essentials is even better.
- Look for the good. It’s easy to get tunnel vision during a crisis and see only the negative. I need to purposefully look for positive things, even if it’s as simple as a feel-good YouTube video or listening to my GRANDkiddos’ laughter or recalling a favorite Scripture passage.
What about you? Are you looking for a do-over in the new year? What do you do when circumstances are beyond your control?
When it's Not a Happy New Year http://bit.ly/2Qy8lMT #perspective #encouragement Click To Tweet 'Circumstances are beyond human control, but our conduct is in our own power.' Quote by Benjamin Disraeli http://bit.ly/2Qy8lMT #perspective #encouragement Click To Tweet
Comments 19
Nope, I don’t need a do over. Relationally it’s been great. There’ve been a couple of medical issues I could do without, but all is moving forward well. I do pray for things to even out and move into full health and blessings for you and yours. I do love the way your family post together and that is a very bright spot that shines much further through dark times than you may realize but it teaches and encourages others.
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Dee: I don’t begrudge you — or anyone else — not needing a do over. Yay for a great start to the new year! And yes, the way my family pulled together and supported each other through the crisis was truly wonderful. We leaned into each other’s strength and it made a difference in the midst of a tough time.
I could use a do over, but God is in control. Our family suffered tremendous loss last year, my 12 year old nephew and my husbands 40 year old niece to suicide, my brother in law, and then my daddy. On top of that my husband has only worked three days since my dad’s funeral in November. He was to start back the 2nd and still hasn’t. Trying to balance helping my mom and my own bills etc. I pray your New Year gets better and is full of blessings. Hugs 🤗
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Leila:
Suicide cuts deep and creates such an unremitting pain. I’m so sorry for your losses. And yes, God never abandons us, never loses sight of us in the midst of circumstances that can knock us to our knees. The struggle sometimes is not losing sight of Him. To hang onto the grace He offers. To stand in the light, rather than getting lost in the darkness. I love reminding myself that His mercies and love are new every morning. It’s like fresh air to my lungs.
Actually, 2019 was a good year. God moved for us in so many great ways. And 2018 was good also. It was time for a season of rest, as our pastor put it. After nearly losing Tom twice, and going through all his health issues in 2016 and 2017, we were ready! His yearly physical is January 20th at the VA and we’re trusting God for another ‘you passed with flying colors’ statement. But when things are beyond my control, as they always are, and I have the tough questions in my heart, I just hang onto Jesus. He is the only One who can get me through. My victory will always be in His hands.
On another front, I sure am looking forward to your new book!
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Good morning, Susan. Your words remind me to be grateful at all times. To trust in Him AT ALL TIMES.
And you also remind me that the encouragement of a friend can make a difference, too. Thanks for your kind words about my upcoming release. It’s amazing to think that The Best We’ve Been wraps up the Thatcher Sister Series. 🙂
Praying for you and yours, Beth. Too ill to offer more than a haiku. I hope you like it.
In the bleakest of midwinter
snowdrops lift their white heads
to the sun.
So simple, Andrew, but so encouraging. Thank you.
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Andrew:
Your haiku is beautiful and I appreciate your friendship. Praying for you today.
Ms. Beth; my prayers for you and your family. I also want to remind you of a promise to help you through the season. All seasons come to an end. Winter welcomes spring; spring ushers in the hot, difficult days of summer, and fall ushers in a refreshing chance to cool down and recover as you prepare for cold days ahead. The promise is God’s; and it’s that He will always be with you… “lo to the end of days.” God’s blessings gentle friend.
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J.D.: Thank you for the reminder that God is always with me. I always settle on the truth that God doesn’t lose track of us during the tough days. He never turns His back on us … and your words point back to that truth and underscore it with “lo to the end of the days.”
Beth, praying for your family. I’ve had a couple of friends to have pancreatitis and it certainly is no fun. But they are now well and the same will be true for y’all.
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Pat: Thank you for your prayers. Yes, pancreatitis is one of the more painful experiences, and I’m thankful my daughter is recovering. We leaned into all the prayers being offered for her and for us — it is one of the advantages of FB: a quick way to share a need!
Sometimes, it would be nice for a do-over. December. Sick for three weeks, still on a heavy dose of meds. Husband ended up in the ER. Neither of us with life-threatening health concerns, but it sure made it hard to enjoy Christmas.
I’m just glad I was able to make it to the Christmas Eve service.
Hope your daughter is doing better.
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Denise, it’s good to be able to be thankful for the small things. Gratitude makes a difference. And yes, my daughter is improving day by day. And I’m thankful for that.
Aww, friend, I’m so sorry it has not been a happy new year. Thank you for the reminder that, though we can’t control our circumstances, but we can choose how we respond to them. You are a beautiful example of leaning hard into the Lord. And thank you for the reminder to be gentle with ourselves. That’s so important.
Continuing to pray for you all, friend.
Author
Thank you for your encouraging words, Jeanne. They brought a smile to my face today. And yes, being gentle with ourselves when circumstances are beating us up … it’s a choice that can help us make it through the day.
2019 was a rough year healthwise. 2020 started that way as well but it has steadily gotten better. I know challenging and often grievous times can suddenly happen. I’ve been asking the Lord to help me see each moment of each day as an opportunity to practice the fruit of the Spirit, and to grow in grace through these times.
My prayers for your family and daughter as she continues to heal and face the next hurdle.
Author
Anne: Thank you for your prayers for Katie Beth. And yes, I’ve had to remind myself to look for God in the midst of this ongoing situation and to remember he has not lost track of her, her family, or any of us during this time.