@bethvogt
I almost got into an argument with a good friend yesterday – one of my best friends, as a matter of fact.
But I hit a huge roadblock on my way to getting “good and mad.”
I was lining up all my reasons for being angry and staying that way, and then I got up to walk around my house and put some steps on my Fitbit. My Fitbit prompts me to log at least 250 steps each hour. We writers embrace the motto “backside in chair” to meet deadlines, and we need nudges like that to get up and move.
While I walk, sometimes I play Words with Friends. And sometimes I pray, using prayer cards I wrote out after I read Fervent by Priscilla Shirer.
Yesterday morning, I prayed.
The title of the prayer?
“My Hurts.”
It opened with these lines: I want to walk in freedom, especially in the area of forgiveness. I do not want a root of bitterness to grow up in my heart for any reason. I want to be at peace with others.
Ahem.
I could either stop praying and hold onto my anger, or I could keep praying and let God work on my attitude. My self-righteousness.
The words could be rote … or they could become truth and gentle conviction.
I was halfway through the prayer before the tightness eased in my chest. Before I did more than just read the words. Before I admitted my attitude was wrong and chose to stop being angry with my friend.
My friendship is so much more valuable than my wrong attitude.
My earlier texts with my friend had stopped because she was busy with her job and I was busy, well, getting my heart right. Then these words appeared:
My friend: I don’t want to get sideways with you.
Me: I don’t want to get sideways with you either. #youknowtoomuch
My friend: I love you.
Me: I love you, too.
We were good because we chose our friendship over anything else. And that is the best kind of friendship. A friendship worth fighting for.
Choosing to Realize Being Good and Mad is All Wrong http://bit.ly/2UZqSlW #friendship #forgiveness #perspective Click To Tweet 'Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness.' Quote by H. Jackson, Jr. http://bit.ly/2UZqSlW #forgiveness #relationships #faith Click To Tweet
Comments 10
I thought that I could say goodbye
to raw anger and hot fury,
to nature red in tooth and claw,
and to the thought, “I, the jury.”
I’m after all approaching death,
and there soon be a dreadful end,
but today I’m still drawing breath,
and no longer can I pretend.
They want to take the unborn lives,
and kill those who yet live.
With First Servant, I shall draw the knives,
for there is what I can’t forgive.
We may yet agree to disagree,
but I will not turn traitor to me.
‘First Servant’ is a reference to King Lear; he can’t bear to see the torture of Gloucester by Cornwall, draws his sword in defence, and is killed by Regan…but the injury First Servant does Cornwall results in his death.
Author
Good morning, my friend: You won’t find me arguing with you on this topic. Sometimes anger is more than justified — righteous, rather than self-righteous. What I dealt with yesterday was me-centered, not a clear vision of right versus wrong.
I really enjoyed this and found it encouraging and refreshing. “Good” and “mad?” Yes, strange combo. Maybe “Good” and “talking”, or “Good” and “loving”. Brava.
Author
Dee: Much better choices — “good” and “talking” or “good” and “loving.” 🙂
And in the end, it’s those hard times that grow a relationship, making it go deeper. Having a history of anger and then forgiveness is invaluable to a friendship–it puts the fear of rejection out of the picture. And allows for raw honesty that will take a friendship to new levels. I love how you prayed. So did God.
Author
Thank you for your kind encouragement, my friend.
Beth, you’re so right. Anger rarely accomplishes anything productive, especially in relationships. I’m so glad you chose friendship over wrong attitude. Thanks for the reminder to choose relationship.
Author
Jeanne: God was gracious in his rebuke. He is always compassionate.
a very good reminder
Author
Thank you, Denise. 🙂